Arousal problems.

Hi.

I'm almost 20 years old and I've been dating my boyfriend for about 4 months now. We've known each other for about 1,5 years, but really started going out at the end of May this year. We haven't had sex yet. I think it's too early... :nerd: Anywho...

We like playing with each other in bed. I give him a hand job and he fingers me. Everything is fine with him, but... I just won't get wet. I've had the same problem a couple of times with my previous boyfriend, but I thought I've gotten over it. I've tried to imagine having real sex and to touch myself etc, but I just won't get wet. And fingering hurts because I'm dry. I just don't know what to do...

:upset:

shucks,this is really weird since you are at a tender age,anyway i think you should talk to your boyfriend about this,he might be rushing to finger you thinking that it turns you on.

He should learn what turns you on,if kissing/licking does,he should focus more on that.in other words,communication is key.if he has no clue/experience on finding out what arouses you,you can give him tactile or verbal clues/direction.goodluck

This is why they make lube. I have no idea why you don't get wet, but I don't think it's necessarily a barrier to sexual enjoyment.

Go to the store and pick up a tube of KY.

It's called a mouth.

yeah. but.. don't get KY, it contains glycerine, which can give you yeast infections, as I discovered. Worst idea for a lubricant ingredient, EVER.

also.. do you actually like the fingering? Guys seem to think that fingering is the equivalent of a handjob, and the faster and deeper, the better it must be!
When actually, I enjoy a gentle sorta finger "teasing" of the.. erm.. temple gates, much more than I enjoy the gates being rammed.

are you on the pill? that can make you dry.

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Originally Posted by Tiay [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

yeah. but.. don't get KY, it contains glycerine, which can give you yeast infections, as I discovered. Worst idea for a lubricant ingredient, EVER.

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Any recommendations? I've never used lube.

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Originally Posted by Tiay [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

also.. do you actually like the fingering? Guys seem to think that fingering is the equivalent of a handjob, and the faster and deeper, the better it must be!
When actually, I enjoy a gentle sorta finger "teasing" of the.. erm.. temple gates, much more than I enjoy the gates being rammed.

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That's a really good point, Tiay. I also dislike the fingering unless I'm receiving some spectacular oral at the same time. Otherwise, it feels exactly like an exam from a gynecologist.

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Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Any recommendations? I've never used lube.

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hm, that's the only one I've ever used, so I don't know either. I'm sure if you google for female friendly/gentle lubes you'll find something. Silicone based lubes are good for underwater, I so want to try that.

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Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

That's a really good point, Tiay. I also dislike the fingering unless I'm receiving some spectacular oral at the same time. Otherwise, it feels exactly like an exam from a gynecologist.

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oh, thank god, i'm not alone! And fingering is SO not a way to "keep me going" while he takes a break from oral, either.

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Originally Posted by Tiay [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

oh, thank god, i'm not alone! And fingering is SO not a way to "keep me going" while he takes a break from oral, either.

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Takes a break? What!? Bad boyfriend! Bad!

Okay, hermione, I looked up lubes. This one cracked me up:

[url]http://www.condomdepot.com/product/detail.cfm/pnid/214/nid/246/pid/2732[/url]

but I'll bet it's not available at your local Walgreen's.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tiay [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

also.. do you actually like the fingering? Guys seem to think that fingering is the equivalent of a handjob, and the faster and deeper, the better it must be!
When actually, I enjoy a gentle sorta finger "teasing" of the.. erm.. temple gates, much more than I enjoy the gates being rammed.

are you on the pill? that can make you dry.

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Well... I enjoy a little fingering. Not ramming :), but some gentle fingering. But then again I enjoy "teasing" too. I might even say, that I enjoy it more than fingering. But even when he's just "teasing" me, I won't get wet. Maybe the problem's mental?

I don't want to turn to lubes yet. I'll just... wait and see, how will I react the next time. Maybe... just maybe... if I give him some instructions... I'll have the lucky chance to get wet.

Thanks to everybody for your advice. :)

If you can't even get yourself wet, how can he ever hope to?

i think you might be nervous.

how much foreplay are you getting?

edit: oh wait, you're not having sex. can I still call it foreplay when nothing follows it? I think it can be a standalone activity.

ann summers do a water based lube called liquid satin

it also contains aloe vera so it is a very gentle lube

give it a try

You women have never had MY fingers ...

Anyway ... is there any clitoral stimulation going on? I can imagine that the fingering wouldn't be so great if the oven isn't preheated.