Friends & lovers - it's so complex.

This post, relates to, but is an aside to, the only other thread I currently have on this forum.
I've started this new thread because today ( Saturday ) something struck me like a thunderbolt and it relates to formation of relationships in general.

I'm not going to repeat in detail the contents of my other thread here, read it to familiarise yourself if you wish.

This is going to be very difficult to explain and put into words and this is my first attempt.

Briefly it relates to friendships ( and possibly more ) developing between a couple and the events leading up to that as they happen over time.

In my case I'm a 56 yrs young male and she a 33 yrs young woman. We are each married to our spouses and have been for many years. Each has some marriage problems.
We have known each other through work for about 5 years and have been quite close for between 2 - 3 years though nothing sexual has happened. She has described me as her confidante quite recently.
That friendship is under great strain at present through recent events between us.

The thunderbolt that struck was that somehow I mentally made a connection between those recent ( over the past 2 - 3 months ) events between us and preparations for a high profile boxing match ( a different kind of match ).

Now I know it's not an exact similarity because in a boxing match there will be a winner and a looser. In relationship terms, ideally, there should be two winners.
But they do say in many ( most ? ) relationships, ultimately, there is a 'lover' and a 'loved' even though both to a greater or slightly lesser degree will each be 'lover' and 'loved'.
One partner is likely to 'wear the trousers' to some degree.
This is where the boxing match similarity holds true in relationships because the outcome is just as vital if not more so.

If 'love' is the right term in my situation then it looks as though I am the 'lover' and she is the 'loved'. I have a bloody nose but 'the boxing match' has only recently begun and I think she is feeling some pain too.

I thought about this originally with the past 2 - 3 months in mind but read on.

This sounds absolutely crazy and it is so very difficult to put into words exactly. ( I've booked my place in the lunatic asylum ).

There's the pre match meets, each competitor trying to be shown in best light ( we're friends and want to be liked - that's all, in relationship terms [IRT]).
Grunts and snarls ( the jousting and such in a relationship where you think you could be more than friends IRT )
The fighter's history used to intimidate ( hey, I've been through this and that difficult situation before and I'm still here and fighting IRT )
The flexing of muscles ( be careful how you handle me, one mistake and it's all over for you [IRT])
The night of the big fight ( this is where I am now IRT )

Now all the above is not exactly original when I view the history of the past 2 - 3 months in relation to my 'friend'.

This is the thunderbolt.
I then started to think about the whole time we had been confidantes ( 2 - 3 years ) and then I saw a different perspective.
I then thought about the time we were just friends ( from 5 years ago ) and how we became close.

Now I'm so utterly confused. I see things I never thought of before we were confidantes and when we were 'just' friends.

This doesn't explain all it would be TOO long. It doesn't even explain it very well it's only this morning it hit me.

It's nearly medication time - have to go now. Am I really crazy. Don't think so, but they never do do they.

straight&56