Was once in love but now not sure

Me and my girlfriend have been going out for 6 months, even though i feel that it may have originated out of sex we both did fall in love with eachother. Niether of us has been with anyone else. It was my first serious realtionship. We started going to seperate colleges about 20 minutes apart. We fought a lot and broke up and got back together often, but i still wanted to be with her. Finally last Friday I felt that it wasnt working and we needed to break up. Soon after I learned how she started new birth control, and that could be ther reason for the extra bit of fighting lately. I wanted to get back together but she suggested we wait to make sure that is what i really wanted. I thought I would still want to be with her, but lately I am not sure if i feel the same way anymore. I dont know what happened or how it happened, but i feel like i keep having to convince myself that yes i do love her. I go back and forth all the time, and i know i cant be with her again until im sure of my desicion. This is driving me crazy, how can I want it to work so bad but feel as though I am no longer in love at the same time? Im not sure if my mind is playing tricks on me, or I am thinking about it too much, or Im just afraid of changing my lifestyle that has been this way for the past 6 months. It kills me because I know she loves me and would do anything for me, even supported me through a rough spot in my life. I also know she would take me back in a second. I think to myself what more could I want in a girl? and who am I looking for? If i cant love her, how can i love someone else? She is right for me. But still I cant feel love for her again. Please tell me that one day I can love her again? Has anyone else felt this way before? I wish things had never changed

I've gone back and forth on someone like you have, though it wasn't the same situation since I wasn't in a relationship...speaking on my experience though, while I liked being with that person and really fell for him, deep down I knew he wasn't right for me. I had conflicting emotions since I wanted to be around him but I felt it was pointless since I knew it shouldn't go anywhere...even still, when I was with him I didn't think about the negative. What I finally realized is that I just liked having someone to do things with; I didn't stick around for him so much as the company he brought. Now, one of my friend's had a yo-yo boyfriend in that they were always breaking up and getting back together again, and they just finally broke up for good. For them they also wanted the relationship to work so badly, but knew that if they stayed in it any longer they'd end up hating each other because the spark was gone and they didn't love each other in the same way.

Any relationship that involves breaking up and getting back together a lot isn't good because it isn't stable. If you both have had a lot of second thoughts before, it probably is time to end it before it becomes completely unhealthy. Sometimes things change and we don't understand why. Most of the time it's because we're changing, or at least one person in the relationship is, so while we can still love and care about the other person it's not in the same way. I think this is what happened with you, and if that's the case I doubt you'll go back to how you loved her before because it's just changed, and you can't force yourself into feeling something different than you do.

Do what she said and really think on it. Personally I don't really see a healthy, stable relationship coming out of it if you do get back together with her, but we all do have conflicting feelings, what counts is being able to sort them out and make a decision so that the relationship isn't a constant rollercoaster.

I think you want it to work because you want it to go back to how it was when it was all good and you were in love. You want the old shoe back, but your foot has outgrown it :baby:

If you have doubts that you love her, yu probably don't. You should leave it be and not force it.

being confused is fine why dont you try to list the reasons why you "love" this person and see where that might lead you ..maybe its more of comfort? or guilt? ..whatever it may be stop and think about it and if anything maybe really trying to put the "past" negative thoughts behind and try to make a "future" with positive ones relax and take your time whats meant to be will be good luck

She probably needs to dump you. If you really do love her youll soon find out.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by miSSleepy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You want the old shoe back, but your foot has outgrown it

---

I like that. That really describes the situation.