HS Senior Interesting Scenario Need Help (LONG)
From a week ago (when written)
I really want some serious replies preferably from people who have dealt with a situation similar to this.
There is this girl, Kayla, we are seniors and have been going to school together for 4 years, but never really had classes/never really talked. Our lockers are next to each other but I never noticed how beautiful she was, and is also a "cool" girl. She is pretty quite, more of the sexy/gorgeous type than the "hot" type if you know what I mean.
This year we have 3/8 classes together. Her locker is next to mine and she has started a few conversations. I often catch her glancing at me, while I was doing the same. Problem is there is this kid that she was just friends with forever but now they are dating. How can I tell if she likes me and what can I do? If they waited 4 years to date and/or were on and off will her current relationship likely last?
I haven't really seriously dated in high school, but not many of my friends (jocks not nerds-no offense) haven't either because basically my class is pretty ugly. I get nervous and kinda defensive when she ever talked to me. Last year she said small things to me, nice stuff, in a class a few times but we never really talked. She does not talk to other guys without them starting the conversation, she is pretty shy I guess until you know her a lot better. A few kids try to hit on her and what not (more flirting I guess) but she seems like she doesn't care. We are actually very much alike in our demeanor when it comes to the opposite sex. How do I know if she likes me though? Does her glancing over at me and us making eye contact mean anything if it happens pretty often? (Like a few times a day, yea I keep track). She laughs at everything I say really, agrees with me on other things, etc. This kid she is dating though they get along from what I've seen but her boyfriend basically followed her everywhere and just now are they dating. Again, it may have been off and on, not sure. How can I start talking to her? Should I wait till she breaks up with him?
These past few weeks I have been thinking about her 24/7 but she doen't have the slightest clue, for all I know she may not even like me like that! But if she starts talking to me, it's gotta count for something. For example she was asking me about what I want to do (Pro Poker Player, laugh if you like) after we discussed careers in english class (everyone.) It went like this...
Here locker is HERE Mine is HERE (to her right)
She took a look over like she was going to say something I wasnt looking at her but knew she was gonna say something, like the pansy I am I looked away, but when I looked back she said "So you wanna be a poker player?" I said "Yea, not want though, I am gonna be one." She kinda chuckled and I said "What's wrong with that" (not in a mean way) and she said "Nothing, I just think it's a bit of a stretch." We smiled and I walked away. DOES SOMETHING LIKE THAT MEAN SOMETHING??
I DO get along well and can have a conversation with her, but she starts them, I am not good at starting conversations with any girl that I like in any way more than a friend, I am just uncomfortable in those situations. Like going to Hooters makes me nervous, where I "should" like it. It's not a person specific case where some people I like I can talk to and others I can't. I also haven't dated really so I don't know what to/not to do. I AM NOT trying to steal her, and don't plan on doing anything till they break up (I am fairly sure they have broken up and dated a bunch of times, mainly because he nags her from what I can tell, he is way overprotective and whatnot.)
I will not just let this slip away, I will at some point at the very least ask her out (then I would pretty much have to drop it at least for awhile.) Not now that she has a boyfriend, but when she is single. It will be rough to deal with, but I would be MUCH happier if I had done it and she said no than me worry about it. I don't think she would expect this (asking her out) from me, whether she likes me or not. I haven't dated in high school because I haven't found someone at all like her/wanted to. The really weird thing is that after 3 and a half years I just recently developed a huge "crush" on her, probably because I never had classes and got to know her at all before this year. It's not looks ONLY, but she is extremely gorgeous. She isn't nasty, cocky, rude at all-she is funny and likes to talk to certain people (I have found that she likes to start conversations with me obviously), but is reserved most times, she is the girl who has NEVER had a detention. A few kids really like her and make it obvious to her, but she doesn't lead them on at all, and I can tell she has no/little interest in them. I mean she gives me these looks when I laugh and she is laughing, or when we do talk, I can't describe it really, its too hard to put into words.
Whether it seems like it or not, unless I have known you awhile I am uncomfortable, kind of socially awkward-and I think that is what has held me back from any girl previously (why can't they ask US out? lol). But again, she is so different, I could literally live with her and have nothing to do for the rest of my life and have the greatest feeling and love within me. I only would ever want to get involved with someone if I could see me living my LIFE with them.
For a few weeks or so, since I basically fell in love with her, I have been trying to find ONE girl anywhere that I find as physically attractive as her and has a personality like her. As a matter of fact, no girl matches up to Kayla right now, no one in the world. Even looks wise, no one. I am on here because I need to talk to someone about it. I mentioned it to a few guys at school and the one kid said "she is sexy, id bang her...go for it dude, just ask her out" now I don't think like that and said "She has a boyfriend" and he said "Who cares?" but I don't know how sincere he was with that. The other kid I told said "then just go for it man, just ask her out". Wouldn't you THINK that one of these two (both jocks and not really the always kind to kids type) say that I didn't have a chance or laugh or something? I mean freshman year I was told that about one girl once, but I was chubby, short and immature where as now I am 6' 3", slender/skinny, and much more mature (so i've been told by everyone from teachers to kids).
Now, having read that, what's the opinion? I have had no sign that she doesn't like me and have not been told by others that I didn't have a chance.
THIS WAS TODAY
So today was a breakthrough day in that now I am completely lost. Basically a few girls (the few good looking ones in my class) figured out who they think I like, and though I did not tell them, their last guess was right and they pretty much know it. One girl said that she "Doesnt think she'll break up with him soon."
First question: If she said that and they have been dating for only 3 weeks, is that just a common HS opinion? That any relationship seems as though it will never end?
Then after naming a few other girls and me saying like "Definitely not" they said that it was mean but whatever. More importantly though, they were hinting like "How highly do you put yourself?" Like I am guessing they thought she was too good looking for me? That may have been because of what I said about the "no" girls. They might have insinuated that I couldn't date her, but no one said that I couldn't or anything. They said that if she is always looking at me that she is "Definitely interested" and they asked if I talk to her a lot. I said "No", but explained that she has started conversations between us. They asked how I could like someone if I never talked to them. And they asked if it was "just looks" and I said "No, otherwise I would have liked her for four years" and they said that some people change.
Last period of the day, the one where we can really see each other, we only made eye contact a few times...When we moved around she was angled kind of bad for me to see her but I saw her like, you know, rub her head and look as she pulls her head up and I would look and of course look away then.
So now I feel worse about myself, like I was making things up that weren't there or something. I could post a pic but instead I will give you a broad description: I am 6' 3", slim, and am not deformed. I can't judge myself ya know?
SO MOST IMPORTANTLY:
How much do looks matter to a girl as compared to the person? I mean usually, because everyone is different. This is not a slutty type of girl, she has had a few boyfriends, one I believe was in college, the other kids in my school. I really need to do something to just figure out where I am at. I can't do anything drastic like ask her out since she is dating someone now, but if I never do anything, how will she know that I DO like her? When she looks at me, like across the room, it feels too awkward to "stare" at her, that would be weird. But just smiling would be awkward too. How do I let her know that I like her without going over the top? I understand she has a boyfriend, but I can still somehow let her know that I like her...but how??
