Words just aren't enough

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19-10-07, 09:06 AM
spaceship94

Words just aren't enough

Alright, well, I'll spit it on out, heh. I've had a thing for this girl for over 5 years. I've just never had the courage to actually ask her on a date. Well, lately, like the last month or so, the desire to get her has taken a front seat from how I always just kept it on the back burner.
We talk some, not a whole lot, but usually casual small talk. Actually asking her on a date is my problem, I'll figure that out. I just can't seem to think clearly enough to figure out what to do if she does say yes, in order to get it to the next step. My first thing is to convince her that I'm not just after her for one reason (We all know that reason), and that I am serious. I'm a firm believer in the philosophy that actions speak louder than words. So what can I do when I'm with her, besides being myself, to get her sincerely interested without over doing it? I figure, ask the ladies since they can relate the most closely. I know she's looking for a relationship, but she doesn't quite know I'm interested.
On a side note, I kind've have self-confidence issues, which is why I'm having this whole problem to begin with, because I can walk up to pretty much any other girl and ask her out. So if you have any advice on that, that'd help a lot. Thanks...
19-10-07, 09:33 AM
Tiay

5 years? are you sure you're not deeply, irreversibly in the friend zone by now?

hm, I don't really know how to explain this.. but you just gotta treat her like a romantic interest. friends talk to each other differently than romantically interested people do. Or you could just put your arm around her shoulder.. heck it worked for me ^.^

however, since you've known her for so long, any sudden change in your behaviour might just freak her out. Your best bet might just be to be honest and tell her about your feelings.
19-10-07, 09:39 AM
spaceship94

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiay [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

5 years? are you sure you're not deeply, irreversibly in the friend zone by now?

hm, I don't really know how to explain this.. but you just gotta treat her like a romantic interest. friends talk to each other differently than romantically interested people do. Or you could just put your arm around her shoulder.. heck it worked for me ^.^

however, since you've known her for so long, any sudden change in your behaviour might just freak her out. Your best bet might just be to be honest and tell her about your feelings.

:P
Yeah, I just doubt myself too much. I'm not really insecure, but I'm a Scorpio and I just tend to let my emotions cloud my judgement on things. Arm thing doesn't work. She's not really a touchy person and doesn't really like being touched. I think I'm just thinking too far ahead, eh? I haven't even asked yet so yeah... OK. :sad2:
It's just her though. I'm not madly in love or anything, and I've dated several girls during the long time period (It'd be pretty pathetic if I hadn't right? Haha) but it's jsut crap or get off the toilet time. Gotta make something happen. :french: Lol.

Oh and yes, like I said, it's prety much always been small friendly talk, so neither one of us REALLY knows each other.
19-10-07, 11:25 AM
DoesntMatter

Quote:

Originally Posted by spaceship94 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

My first thing is to convince her that I'm not just after her for one reason (We all know that reason), and that I am serious.

Even if you were just after her for sex, as long as you were confident and had a lot of appeal to her it wouldn't make a difference. If she was really attracted to you she wouldn't notice or would overlook it or something. What I am saying is... Having to present yourself in a way such that you show you have good intentions is kind of weak and that's probably how she will view it, even if not consciously. I'm personally quite skeptical of guys ever feeling the need to convince a girl their intentions are good. Besides, maybe she just wants to be flung over a couch and ****ed senseless

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiay [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

however, since you've known her for so long, any sudden change in your behaviour might just freak her out. Your best bet might just be to be honest and tell her about your feelings.

Yeah if you've known her for 5 years you really don't want to just randomly start acting differently some day. I agree with Tiay your best chance is probably telling her you've liked her for a long time but without changing your act (obviously after you tell her things will change though).

I think Tiay was joking about the arm thing but if you've known her for 5 years don't just randomly put your arma round her. Just keep acting how you have been and come clean with your feelings if you want to let her know, that's the best way

The physical contact stuff has always seemed real chancy to me, I think you gotta be a grade-A stud to pull that shit off right

Quote:

Originally Posted by spaceship94 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

:P
I'm not really insecure, but I'm a Scorpio and I just tend to let my emotions cloud my judgement on things.

Haha ! Those stargazing prophecy things don't mean shit! If you want better psychic advice call Ms Cleo

Quote:

Originally Posted by spaceship94 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

:P
I've dated several girls during the long time period (It'd be pretty pathetic if I hadn't right? Haha)

No it wouldn't be