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success?... or maybe not
Hi all
so i've had sucess. This guy i've been hanging out w/ from school told me he liked me and asked for permission to kiss me which led us into a very philosophical discussion rather than action for a good half hour. Regardless there was eventually a kiss which led to more talking.
PROBLEM
this guy wants a relationship. i'm good with that but i think he's the type who wouldn't be down w/ the fact that i have my own life i just want him to be a part of it rather than it. I think he wouldn't like my having guy friends and my flirtations, though they never lead to anything.
how can i put it nicely that i need to be trusted regardless, cos i definitely will be the first to let him know if i lose interest.
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I think you should just say it. That you have some guy friends, and want to make sure he trusts that nothing will happen between you and them, even though you all joke around a good bit.
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Allidile, you have some major intimacy issues. You are one flinchy girl. What indication has he given you that he wants to be your entire life? Why are you already dismissing this relationship before it's even begun?
You're engaging in a power struggle and I'm not sure it's necessary.
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You discussed whether or not he could kiss you for half an hour before you let him? :surprised
I agree with Giga - this looks like a power issue. He must really like you to be willing to work so hard. I'm not sure most males would tolerate that.
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You're really cute, aren't you alidile? You're one of those girls that guys follow around like dogs. I can tell.
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hahaha
i feel sooo misread.
i wouldn't say i'm ugly but i've grown up being one of those girls who is a part of the guys gang, skateboarding wakeboarding camping all that jazz and i don't usually see guys as assets even if i can be "girly" and get dolled up. i usually see them as friends and i'm really bad at reading signs
i've always just hooked up w/ people vs. having formal relationships
this guy did give me some indication by telling me that his last girlfriend cheated on him and he doesn't really trust girls at all and he's skeptikal about females on a whole. he also asked me before any of this if i had a boyfriend which is fine, because he doesn't think it's cool for girls or guys to go hang out alone w/ someone of the opposite sex because it can lead to things and that's not how i am at all... that's how i drew these conclusions.
does that maybe make it more clear?
and he chose to do all the talking... i think he just got nervous... i wasn't trying to make him justify anything
PS
i want to be very careful about getting involved in a situation before hand because my last boyfriend and i didn't have things clear and things got very messy... calling my friends and showing up at their houses if he couldn't reach me, calling my parents showing up places i'd be. I DON'T think many people are that extreme but I just want to avoid any problems and have a certain level of honesty there because he is looking for a relationship and i am too if i can be trusted to have my own life.