Hooked on a girl that i've known for 12 years, but there's some problems..(long)
This is my first post on this site (Forgive me if it's too long). I don't usually ask for help for these kind of things because I've never been serious about a girl but with this one, it's different. Her name's Jenny. She's the ONLY girl I've really cared about. With other girls, when something doesn't work out, I could care less.
Her and her sisters came out here to visit me and my cousin. And seriously, she has been all over me to the point where people thought we were married or together. Here's the problem though: she's been with her boyfriend for about a year and a half. She did way too many things that showed me she liked me. My cousin talked to her at one point when they went to get some food. She was like, "Be honest. Do you still have feelings for him because it's real obvious that you do." She said, "The reason I never came to AZ the whole time you were here was because I was scared I'd get my feelings back for him. I really don't know what to say. But I care about him like I care about you cause I love my boyfriend." You would figure that right there means she's done with me. Then right before they got home and walked through the door, she told my cousin "We'll see in the next few days" in the most serious face. That right there told me she still has feelings but she's trying to get over me. Her saying no and then saying "we'll see" right before they got in is a little suspect to me.
I would get into details about what she's done to make it obvious but i'll only name a few things. First, I just wanna name something small. Jenny's sister and my cousin always kept saying "It's too obvious she likes you." Jenny's sister said "she always calls her boyfriend especially when she's away, but since she came here she never called him even once." Everytime he called, she would get off the phone after a minute. It looked like a joke to me. Here's the biggest thing that pushed her way past the limit: Jenny told me I should sleep over and my cousin purposely got us to sleep on the same small twin size mattress on the floor (Jenny never argued or said no). And for 2 nights, this girl was all over me. Sleeping on my shoulders, her legs on top of me, putting her feet on mine, i even put my hand up her shirt (on her back) at one point tickling her, and i even held her all night. The first night, she was mostly acting like she was asleep when she slept on me, but I noticed her checking to see if I was asleep. The second night, she was open about it and just did it knowing I was awake. We kept waking up both nights and she was always giving me these weird looks like she wants me. I can get into detail about this sleeping thing cause ALOT more happened but I'm trying to keep this shorter.
So after we woke up, I talked to both my cousin, and Jenny's sister. Told them everything that happened and they were like, "Jenny is not that type of girl if she don't like someone. If her boyfriend saw that, he would say she was cheating and she knows it so she OBVIOUSLY likes you." Then Jenny's sister was like "you need to talk to her and tell her to be straight up with everything." So I went home for a couple hours and I came back, and I noticed that Jenny was acting all different by avoiding me and not saying a word to me and just things like that. I knew right away someone had told her something. Her sister told her that I was gonna talk to her (I found that out after they went back to Chicago). So that night, I had to go get something from the store and I was like "Jenny come with me now." She came and got in the car with me, but didn't look at me even once. She was looking outside the window. I put the music down on my cd player and I was like "Ok listen I gotta talk to you. We're not little kids no more so I don't want no games and if you care about me you'll tell me the truth. I'm not like I was before. This is the only time I'll ask you. I wanna know if you still have feelings for me." And she said no, in a weird soft voice. From here on, she seemed kinda sad. I was like "OK are you sure" And she goes "I was over you 2 years ago." So I'm like, cause everyday someone is pulling me to the side telling me that you like me and the things you've been doing is WAY past the limit." And she goes "I'm like that with everyone." And I'm like "No you're not. You're just lying to me right now because I know you like I know myself. Last time I came to chicago you were flirting and I left without talking about this cause I thought nothing of it and you ended up telling me you like me. But this time, it was way more than I expected. So just tell me the truth if you do or not" and she goes "No" so I say "OK that's all I wanted to know." Few minutes later after some silence, she says "Why do you wanna know?" still sounding all sad. I said "I just need to know before you go back." And she was like "It doesn't matter if I do" and her voice was cracking and she started crying (I didn't know she was til we got back home). This is twice she said no and then basically changed her mind. This honestly told me that she does like me but she's trying to force herself to forget about me.
So we get home, and we were supposed to go to the back yard but she ended up going to my cousins room. I went to the back yard and Jenny's sis and my cousin asked where she was. I was like "I think she went to your room to eat." They walked in there and walked out and they were like "What did you do to her? She's crying." So I went inside and she was on the bed and tears were pouring out of her eyes. I kept saying "Come on let's go outside don't cry." And I kept asking what's wrong and she kept shaking her head. And I was like "Are you mad cause you think I don't believe you." And she nodded and was like, "I care about you like I care about your cousin." and she started crying more. But like I said before, I know this girl as much as I know myself. If somebody doesn't believe what she says, she goes "I don't care if they believe me or not. That's their problem." She never cries if someone doesn't believe her. My cousin told me, "She's crying cuz it hit her that she does like you when you talked to her. Cause she doesn't ever act like that trust me." That night she ended up sleeping in a different bed than me but she kept looking at me, especially when we woke up the next morning. Me and my cousin ended up taking her and her sisters to the airport that night, and before she got in, I gave her a hug and she started crying but she was looking away so that I don't see her.
End of story. Sorry about it being so long. I put in as much detail as I could think of. I left out a lot of her flirting though that happened besides the sleeping together at night (there's probably 20 things that could seriously name...way past what she ever does with any guy. one of the most important ones was that she NEVER called her boyfriend, something her sister says she always does especially when she's away.)
Everyone I talked to about this told me she still likes me because they all know how she really is. I keep thinking to myself that she just won't tell me because she's been with her boyfriend for 2 years and she feels too guilty saying she likes someone else. And I also think she's trying to force herself to stop liking me. And if she's REALLY in love with her boyfriend, would she have been doing all of this?
I know most of you would say "move on..there's more females" but that's too hard to do wit somebody you've known for so long. I've never known anybody for that long except my family. And I never had a thing for somebody for that long. I need to figure out what to do about this. She's back in Chicago and I don't ant her to forget about me. I wanna end up being with her. Even if she's long distant, I know I can make it work cause I can afford to see her. I might even move back by myself out there. I'm thinking of just keeping in touch with her all the time. Because every time we lose touch, that's when she moves on from me. BUT as soon as we talk again or see each other again, her feelings come back. It's been like that since I moved out here.
What would you do in this situation? I obviously care about this girl alot.
