i need advice quick

Hi, I’m a 23 year old man from the UK. I have a friend that I have known for a few years, although I have liked her as more than a friend for a while now. She recently broke up with her boyfriend and for around a month or two was single, I never did anything because I was scared of the rejection. I mean, if she was interested something would have happened by now, right?

She went on a blind date with this new guy; she says she really likes him and that he's nice, I know I should be happy for her but... I’m not.

When she was with her old boyfriend it was okay, I could handle it. She was going out with him along time before I knew her, but with this new guy, it’s just ripping me apart. I think it’s because, in my head I think, "It could have been me!" If I just had the balls to risk our friendship and ask her out.

What's worse is that I'm starting to resent her, we used to live in each other's pockets before this new guy turned up (her old bf worked away so she only used to see him on the weekends and a few days through the week.) since this new guy turned up I have hardly seen her. And when I do see her, all she talks about is him. The other day she told me she got so drunk on their second date she ended up going back to his place and SLEEPING WITH HIM!!! (My heart literally died inside my chest) is that normal! I mean the first date was a blind date so she did not know him before hand!!! If you add up all the time they had known each other before they had sex its a few hours, 5 at the most

Now, that’s all I can think about, him 'with' her. The thought of them giving each other oral sex affects me the worst! Once, I got so angry I wrecked my own house smashing things for about an hour and a half. If any one has any ideas why the thought of oral sex affect me the worst I would appreciate it.

I can’t function properly; I lost my job because I kept ringing in sick because I’m always hung over. I'm getting drunk about 5 or 6 days a week now. I’m not eating right either; I have started to put on weight, noticeably.

Also ever since I started to have feelings for her I haven’t even looked at another woman it’s been 2 years

...my life HAS fallen apart.

I am willing to listen to any advice anyone has to offer.

Sad-sack.
:(

When women talk with their friends about their relationships with other men it means they look at you as a friend and nothing more. You need to speak with her about this asap. I know its easier said than done but youre never going to have closure if you dont. If she is your friend she would see that something is troubling you and try to help in the least hurtful way possible and if she has no interest in your problems then she is nothing but a virus that will continue to eat away at your body. You need to tell her before she gets serious with someone. Jepordize friendship or not it is not much to lose when youre hurting no one but yourself. Even if you did not speak to her and you moved on and found someone else there would still be no closure in your heart.