I'll try to be as accurate and brief as possible.
Been married almost 12 years. We fell madly/insanly in love and got married 13 months later. He always new what I needed, wanted... what I was thinking even. We both did. It was nuts because no one ever knew me like that... no one could affect me like that. No one ever really took the time to understand this complicated person: me. So of course I fell in love with him. And it was great. Then he slowly but surely stopped being that person. Seemed he would retreat into himself and be more comfortable there. Wouldn't talk, wouldn't inquire as to how I am or show interest in how I'm feeling, etc, even when I said I was ill. Stopped saying i love you. Stopped writing little notes. That whole bit. I never cheated. Never did anything but try to please him and be his friend, lover and support. I was never materialistic. Never demanded "things" like many women do. Not even a diamond ring. I wasn't interested in that. Just him! Loved talking to him but it stopped. Loved hearing he loved me but it stopped. I am the only one saying it now, pretty much. Hell say it back but hardly ever first. Seems he never wants to do anything anymore except drink beer and watch tv. Every time I'd have an issue with him, he'd turn inside himself and get very angry.
So here we are at present. Things have been up and down in the meantime. He claims to love me. Claims to be loyal only to me and have zero interest in anyone else the whole time. But he won't touch me (in any way), won't say he loves me, won't talk to me, won't do things with me, won't discuss our relationship with me. Doesn't seem to have any kind of passion for anything in life. Just wants to drink and watch tv. Same thing, day in, day out. I'm going out of my mind on MANY levels. I don't know what to do or think anymore. I feel utterly invisible. When I try and talk to him, he shuts me out. Says he doesn't want to have another one of those, "conversations" (said with comtempt). Then I get punished (silent treatment) for a week or more because I'm, "starting trouble again". Translated: I'm trying to work it out. To communicate. He seems to have a huge resentment towards me and I don't know why. He says because I keep causing problems/trouble in our relationship. It seems totally insane to me. I take care of the whole house, I cook, clean, work, am there for him, don't blow money, don't demand gifts, I'm his #1 fan, I support, I encourage, I praise, I thank. Hell! Any ideas guys? I'm totally and desperatly lost here. Not to mention heartbroken and losing any hope I have left. I feel trapped... I actually feel the way you feel when someone dies... that inescapable grief where you know there's nothing left to do to fix it.
Thanks. I appreciate the feedback.