reunion with a crush from 10 yrs ago....
hello there! sorry for this being so long.............!!
i recently reunited with an old crush that ive known for about 10 or 11 years. we used to work together when we were both in our late teens, he was 17 when we met, and i was almost 20. we worked together for about 2 years, and we ended up hanging out alot, he knew i liked him very much. due to circumstances beyond our control, the timing wasnt right and i was going thru a break up as well as raising a 2 year old daughter. we ended up becoming good friends, and one night he kissed me. he soon got weird around me, and slowly pulled away from our friendship and whatever it was that he started that nite he decided to kiss me. we lost touch for many years after that, but i never quit wondering what could have been or how he felt about me.
about a year ago, i found him on myspace, after all this time and sent him an email. he responded right away, and gave me his number, telling me to call him "sometime" and for us to meet for lunch or coffee. we emailed a few more times, and eventually i made the call. we spent a few weeks playing "phone tag" but then were finally able to connect, we talked on the phone, but after the conversation, didnt talk for months. for the last year or so, this has been the pattern. we talk every 4 months or so and its been brief, with me always being the one to end our conversations.
almost 2 months ago, he text me out of the blue. since then we have been talking every couple of days, and about 2 and a half weeks ago, we finally met up for a quick drink after all these years! we ended up taking for 3 hrs. we had so much in common and i thought we both had a really good time. he didnt call back for days, so i text him to see how things were. he seemed very happy to hear from me.
even so, a few days ago, i got frustrated and decided i wasnt going to play this game of going back and forth with him, and i basically put it out there that we are both adults and single and we could essentially hook up if thats what we both wanted. he was extremely excited! he asked me to go over that night, but i was nervous and tried to stall. we both came to the conclusion of picking up our conversation again the next day due to the late hour of the nite. well the next day, after he had been so willing to see me the night before, and after he took the lead and was egging me on, he decides that he doesnt think its a good idea and we shouldnt "hook up." he said that he knew things that started this way, always ended badly and he didnt want to mess things up. i apologized for my role in starting the whole thing and he said it was fine and that we could act like it never happened. i said ok, and that i felt so stupid, but he had my number and id leave the ball in his court, if he wanted to hang out again, he could call me. he teased about waiting another 10 yrs to meet up again. at the end of the conversation he thanked me for calling, and said "take care."
i am so confused by what all this means? i really like this guy alot, and i feel so stupid for maybe ruining what could have been a good thing after all these years. am i a fool for doing that or do i still have any kind of chance??
thanks for all the help anyone would be able to provide!
