Heavy Stuff

We've been together for 7 months. We're both seniors in high school.

I was with my boyfriend today... we were being affectionate and I decided to ask him what had been on my mind for a long time. You see... one day, I was digging through his wallet and found a picture of me he had framed with "love you" on it in a different language I recognized... he was embarassed and wrestled it out of my smiling hands and face. He gave me this neat framed picture with pictures of him and a cartoon one of us also with the word "love" written in a different language.

I felt like I had to ask him today. "You know that picture you have in your wallet with the words..." I said. He hid in his hands and didn't say anything. I realized I had made a mistake... my feelings were not recipricated. He said: "I think that is something you can only say to one person and that saying it too much makes it cheap" I guess that's what I am to him... some nobody who doesn't deserve something like that. I cried, he cried and said he didn't know how to feel... that we were too young.

What a fool I am... thinking that these feelings I think can exist for more than one person but is special with whoever you are with should only be accesible to that one person he is holding out for. I'm one of those pit stops ya know? His vacation destination is elsewhere. I don't mean that much... I can't possibley be "the one." I need to learn to shut up and not be so serious.

How stupid was I to open that can of worms? Very.

I just needed to unload that off of my chest. Thanks to whoever read this out there. Thanks for "listening."