how to convince your heart its over...

I am sitting here and trying to think of what to put down and trying to find the question i even need advice for...so let me explain a little..My boyfriend Mat and I have been together for almost two years..(this coming March). Throughout the entire relationship I have been holding it together both financially and emotionally. He has said he doesnt want to work..It makes me feel as though he doesnt love me enough to WANT to support me..because in the end i have the job...and although its never enough..we manage to get by...I have my car that he drives the hell out of...but now wont help me fix it... or my dad fix it.. I thought a relationship ment spending time together...but he is never home...always at the bars or at a friends house...or our house is full ...I feel like i have given all of myself..I work..i clean..i cook..i pay bills...i do the running...and he is just there...Im drained...whats horrible is i know i need to leave him...but i love him so much i pray that he will change and act like the 23 yr. old he is...and be the boyfriend he claims to everyone he is...I am thinking of writting him a letter since talking is too hard..He has a short temper and when confronted with something he doesnt like or agree with he gets angry...although he has never phyiscally hurt me...my emotions are drained...and i dont know what i should do....

Honestly, what you should do is sit down and think...take all of the good things that attract you to him, and then take all of the bad things that you hate about him...and see which out weighs the other one out...
Don't pray that he will change, he is who he is. Live your life, you only live once, don't let no-one else weigh you down.

You should buy him one last present: a suitcase. Tell him to pack it and get the hell out.

Women like you piss me off because there wouldn't BE so many guys like Mat if there weren't people like you supporting them.

Get help. Enlist your family. Make it public. This guy is like a disease, and you're totally infected. If your friends and family care about you, they'll help you scrape this mess off your shoe.

Sounds like your an awesome girlfriend with a terrible boyfriend.

I'm not saying you don't like/love him or anything. But why the hell did you come this far with him when it sounds like he has no manners or values at all.

I'd probably do what Gigabitch ^^^ suggested. Put him on his own two feet and make him stop stepping on yours. You'll be able to go further and have better.

Man, too bad I'm not single. I would be a huge upgrade for you.

First of all, I spell my name right.

well, at least you know you can make it on your own. i know what you're going through cause i went through it. my bf didn't have a job when he and i got together. he would always hang out with his friends. once i got through to him that it was really hard for ME to get US by, he got a job for me. granted, some of them he wouldn't keep long, but it's at the point now that he has had his job for a year, and even though he hates it, he keeps it. him hanging out with his friends, well, i got used to it and i hang out with him while he hangs out with friends. if his friends are people you can sit and chill with, hang out with them when he does. (just don't do the whole "they matter more to you than i do" bs, guys kinda hate that) as for talking to him about getting a job, well in verbal or written, the words need to be there. let him know that it is getting hard for you to handle it all on your own. you need his help. if he refuses then tell him that he can get to know his friends better by living with them, and that you refuse to be with a child, because adults have jobs and responsibilities and he is clearly not ready for either.

Can this be for real?

Leave him

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Originally Posted by beanie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

well, at least you know you can make it on your own. i know what you're going through cause i went through it. my bf didn't have a job when he and i got together. he would always hang out with his friends. once i got through to him that it was really hard for ME to get US by, he got a job for me. granted, some of them he wouldn't keep long, but it's at the point now that he has had his job for a year, and even though he hates it, he keeps it. him hanging out with his friends, well, i got used to it and i hang out with him while he hangs out with friends. if his friends are people you can sit and chill with, hang out with them when he does. (just don't do the whole "they matter more to you than i do" bs, guys kinda hate that) as for talking to him about getting a job, well in verbal or written, the words need to be there. let him know that it is getting hard for you to handle it all on your own. you need his help. if he refuses then tell him that he can get to know his friends better by living with them, and that you refuse to be with a child, because adults have jobs and responsibilities and he is clearly not ready for either.

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Baaaahahahahahaaaa! What is this, the recipe for "How to be a doormat"?

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Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Baaaahahahahahaaaa! What is this, the recipe for "How to be a doormat"?

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lol

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Dump him. Yesterday. He's a worthless mooch & you are being used.

umm... what is there for me "not" to say..

i really wonder why, why is it that women stay with these types of men... either they are really really good in bed, or these women only enforce the truth in my mind,.. that is a lot of them are dumb. (yes that would also include the jealous giga because i still have my damn bloody mary)

however, alliegirlygirl... you have you just ask yourself do you really want to "try" to convince him to change or do you want to just start brand new and leave the past where it should be.

raverboy

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Originally Posted by Illusional [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

(yes that would also include the jealous giga because i still have my damn bloody mary)

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You get a suitcase too. You are the second-worst bartender I've ever had on LF.

Allie- I hope you threw him out. Here's a song for you:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NxYIeS1fX0"]YouTube - Erykah Badu - Call Tyrone[/ame]

This situation annoys me too!

A lot of "nice" guys can't get a women to look at them twice and
this asswipe (him) can walk over a seemingly nice gal.

I guess there really isn't any accounting for taste!

Do yourself a favour - show that loser the door and get a decent guy for yourself.

]every time i ask you for a little cash, you say no, turn right around and ask me for some a$$...

just to sum it all up for you briefly...

dump this loser!

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Av7m_Pgt1S8&feature=related"]YouTube - No Scrubs[/ame]