OK, here it goes. I'm am a 17 year old guy who is obsessed with a girl and i don't know why. I am a well rounded individual who has a lot going for him. I'm pretty good looking, I'm intelligent, funny, and above all, NICE. Any attraction i have felt towards a girl has been purely superficial except for one.You've probably guessed that this one girl is the reason for this post. Me and this girl became good friends in the beginning of this school year. She was always enthusiastic and genuinely seemed to like to be around me. It was a great friendship. She made me feel like i was a really important person. But unfortunately i began to develop feelings for her. The problem was she had a boyfriend in college. I figured i would let her know how i felt. she immediately responded that she was flattered but didn't want to ruin our friendship.
My first question is " do u think this was the real reason?" I didn't buy it for a second but i didn't dwell on the situation. I figured that a person can't help how they feel, and if she doesn't feel the way id like her to than o well. I assumed i would get over her like all the other girls i liked before, but i didn't. My mind ran wild with so many thoughts of our past interactions. Through this reflection i came to many conclusions about myself, and her. These conclusions about myself being that i am way to kind. I put other people above myself. I am the kind of person who will help someone else out at extreme inconvenience to himself and especially for her.I also came to the conclusion that she was toying with me. I think she led me on to believe that she was interested in me. Aside from trying to spend as much time around me as possible, she would do all the flirty shit that girls do to attract a guy. well i guess i took the bait. It got to the point were she said she "loved me" (apparently as a friend) and that i was her favorite person in the world. She was always getting me to do stuff for her. Most of it was little but somethings were a big deal. And when ever i would do the task i was assigned she would respond with a smile, a hug, and a "your so sweet". I ate it up. She made me feel so good about myself i couldn't resist her every whim. I told her she was taking advantage of me. But she said " i can't believe you would say that to me. I ask for your help because we're friend, and i'd do the same for you if you asked." (I never asked) Me, being the bitch i am, apologized. After 2 months i realized i still wasn't over her. I began being nasty to her because she was still being a big tease to me and would ask inappropriate questions to me like, "r you gonna miss me?" and "what should i get my boyfriend for Christmas?". But i still loved bing around her, she made me feel so good about myself and she was so cute.
One day i got her mad at me because i said she was being demanding (which she was). Throughout the day i came to the conclusion that she was consuming my thoughts and that the only way i was gonna get over her was to disassociate myself from her completely, so i did. I said "I'm not sorry for what i said and i don't feel bad. If i make you feel the way u say i do then i don't think we should hang out anymore, it would probably be better for both of us." She said "whatever you want". I said "its not what i want its what i need". She said "you got it". The next day all of her stuff was out of the locker and she moved her seat in the class we share. Its been a month and we haven't spoken a word to each other. Here i am a month later still constantly thinking about her and the whole situation between us. People have said things to me like "I don't know why your so obsessed with her she's not even that good looking." One girl agreed with me that shes manipulative. And my boys agreed that i did the right thing. But i feel like theirs something in my life missing and i didn't know it until i met her, and now that shes gone i'm aware of this empty feeling. So here r my next slue of questions.
1. was i being manipulated or did it only appear that way because i was willing to do whatever she wanted?
2. Can a genuinely nice guy ever attract a girl or r girls only attracted to the cocky, disrespectful, egotistical jerks? (FYI- I'm not a complete bitch, i let a lot i shit roll of my back but i stand up for the things that matter to me. I'm nice in the sense that i am respectful to everyone and treat them as id want to be treated.
3. Did i do anything wrong?
4. How do i get her out of my head?
5. If i do fill my void should i go back to her as friends?
6. If i enjoyed being around her should i have thrown that all away before i could find another person to provide me with the attention she did.
7. I'm i in love or do i just want her because she doesn't want me and is unavailable.
8. At age 17 should i live the life i do (which is drug and alcohol free and consists of chilling with my buds and looking for one girl to connect with emotionally.) or should i go to these parties where everyone gets wasted and f uck as many girls as i can without any concern with who they r as a person.
Thank you for reading all this. Just by telling people my story makes me feel better. Please let me know your opinions on any of the questions i have.
