First off, let me describe my situation.
My girlfriend and I have been together for about 8 years now. We've talked about getting married once about 1.5 years into the relationship, started ring shopping, and then somehow, we decided that we shouldn't get married. Since then, we've never discussed marriage until recently.
Over the last 5 years, we have pretty much lived together. On average, we break up about twice a year, 2007 has been good, we only did it once in an argument.
I really care a lot of her, but I am really not sure if I love her. Actually, I don't really know what love is suppose to fill like.
Also, I have doubts about her, and about myself. For example, through the last few years, there's been other women I've met that I was very attracted to and the feelings are pretty strong, and that drove me crazy at times but I never pursuited any opportunities or crossed any lines. Do normal people who get married get these feelings for other people? Or are these signs that she's not the right one for me?
I feel that she's someone that I need to take care of and treat well, I don't want to hurt her in anyway. I appreciate her a lot, I mean, she takes good care of me, I know she cares a lot about it, and she has accepted a lot of my quirkiness. However, she and I don't share a lot in life. I am someone who's always looking for the next challange, so I like to study, learn and try new things; she is more the type that likes to do nothing and just get through life as long as everything is satisfactory. Because of this, at home, she's usually watching TV or doing so other stuff while I read or study, so we don't talk too mcuh. When we travel, I like to go backpacking, meet people and get lost from time to time. She prefers to have 5 star hotels, relax, let other people take her to whereever kind of vacation, and she can never get lost. We got lost from time to time when we travel, and whenever that happens she gets extremely angry at me, instead of trying to find our way together....
Recently, we both started having thoughts about having kids. We finally started discussing the topic with each other, and marriage came up as a result. From our discussions, I think that she would want to marry me, so the question really is do I want to marry her. For me, one part of me thinks that I should marry her, but another part keeps telling me that something is missing, and this is not the way it should be.
What should I do? How do I figure out what my path should be?