my girlfriend left me... help, ladies...

my middle school/high school sweetheart left me...

I'm 22. We've been dating 5 years now, and she's left me. I've known her half my life, and we've gone through ups and downs together. We've been fighting lately, and I've drained her emotionally. I let insecurities get to me. She recently told me she's fallen out of love for me, and she doesn't see me in that way at all anymore, mainly because I've been hurting her too much emotionally.

I just need comforting I guess. Is it possible for this to happen, for her to be emotionless towards me as a boyfriend? I love her with all my heart... I put myself out there to make sure she knows that, but I got shot down. Its hard to describe things here, since you don't know us in person... But we were that one couple that could never break up...

What do I do now? I'm depressed... :(

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Originally Posted by 190lbs [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

But we were that one couple that could never break up...

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Do you not see the irony in your statement?

As well as your clearly delusional outlook on your relationship?

Nobody here is going to comfort you, if anything, you're gonna get a good virtual slap in the face.

Breakups suck. End of story. The fact that you're going through the first one at 22 makes it that much harder, and nobody can make this any easier for you. Just learn your lesson (don't drain your girlfriend emotionally) and move on.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TGiqef2Fp0"]YouTube - Sheryl Crow - The First Cut Is The Deepest[/ame]

Yeah. break ups do suck and all you can gain from them is a lesson. Noone can help you here but give simple advice such as stick to your friends (when you have a girlfriend, sometimes you tend to push your friends away because she covers your social needs) and find hobbies. Also there are many articles out there about dealing with break ups, they might help you. (the most important tip is to not talk to her in any way possible, aim, email, phone, and extremely important to avoid her in person at all costs if possible).
If you want to pour it all out, message me in private
Good luck...

God damn people and their stupid music videos.

Anyways, you had your chance. Seems like 5 years later it just isn't gonna happen. Anyways, one man's loss is another man's gain. The girl I like is dating someone for about 5 years, this thread makes my day and raises my hopes :)

I broke up with my bf at 22 that I had been with for five years, too. Everybody thought we would end up married.

But seriously, one day I took a look at things and thought "I'm only 22, and I'm not ready to get married. I've also only ever dated him. Maybe it's time to call it quits." It hurt, but in hindsight it was a great decision. I'd also been with him so long that he felt more like a really good buddy than a bf. The spark was gone.

Moral of the story is, it is distinctly possible your gf is feeling the same way I was in a similar situation. Five years together is a VERY long time when you consider your ages. Look at it this way....if you were really meant to be together, you will be in the end. Maybe you just need this time apart for some growth. I said the same thing, and before long I had moved onto other people, as had he, with no regrets. You will feel better with time.

*hugs 190lbs*

thanks so much everyone... for the kind words, as well as the reality check...

After this whole thing, I have changed. I learned alot about life because of what happened. And now, I want to show her that. I'm not being clingy, but I'm trying to be there for her, even when she is currently getting closer to another guy.

I messed up, but I want to fix things. So I'm putting my pride out of the way, and being the guy I should have been. I love this girl. She started holding hands with the other guy, so that really hurts. I don't know if I have a chance; but that's the true fact, I DON'T KNOW. When I know that I don't, I'll stop. But since I don't, and since I love her, I will try.

Please post your opinions and comments. BTW, anyone mind if I message them on AIM to talk?

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Originally Posted by 190lbs [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

After this whole thing, I have changed. I learned alot about life because of what happened. And now, I want to show her that. I'm not being clingy, but I'm trying to be there for her, even when she is currently getting closer to another guy.

I messed up, but I want to fix things. So I'm putting my pride out of the way, and being the guy I should have been. I love this girl. She started holding hands with the other guy, so that really hurts. I don't know if I have a chance; but that's the true fact, I DON'T KNOW. When I know that I don't, I'll stop. But since I don't, and since I love her, I will try.

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Five years might seem like a long time, 190, and even more daunting when viewed as an investment of your time.

Keep in mind, however, that you are only twenty two with plenty of years ahead of you.

The idea of trying to stay in the background and support your former woman might be considered honorable or noble by some, and a waste of time by others.

Among some of the older couples I know, I have frequently heard the same wish expressed - to have met the other person sooner so as to have experienced more together.

My question to you is whether you think the amount of time you are willing to spend waiting for this woman to return is worth the amount of time you will be missing building an incredible relationship with someone else?

I bet I could answer for the woman waiting for a guy who's ready to be "the guy [he] should have been" with her now.

~Sphinx

You're right, Sphinx.

I learned that they kissed yesterday. And it really does seem like she's happy with him... You gotta know when to move on, right?

Yeah

And i guess it's time for that now.
Time to move on ...