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sex is a sin
kissing is a shame
boys have all the fun
while girls get the blame
one night of pleasure
9 months of pain
3 days in the hospital
with a baby to name
boys say you cute
boys say you fine
but when they have your baby’s
they say it ‘aint mine
you might think I’m crazy
but take my advice
don’t be a mother
before you be a wife
I bolded the lines I liked. I think you have a good start on poetry. However, the transitions between stanzas should be more subtle. I think your poem will flow better if you can break yourself out of that rhyming habit!Quote:
Originally Posted by walahaha [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Just a bit of constructive criticism. I hope it's useful.
Erm.. Noted.. Thanks for the advise..
Ha, we instill the rhyming system from young though.