really lost and in need of help
Hi, sorry for a long post . I met a girl in my university. At first we didn't talk much, but eventually we became pretty close, working on projects together and stuff. She was always the one who was initiating the contact with me.
With time we would spend a lot of time talking by messenger and became really close. Also she began working at the same company that i work in.
With time i have developed feelings for her and i realised that i love her. Now being a complete idiot, i actually told her that i love her, only to be told that she only wants to be friends.
She then went away on christmas holiday to her town, but she invited me to go with her. I coudn't because of work. When she was away we would talk a lot on the phone and messenger.
Then when she came back, she called me the same day and wanted to see me.
So we would just continue to spend a lot of time together, but whenever i would talk about being something more than friends, she would say that she only wants friendship, nothing more.
The thing is, whenever i begin to move away then she begins to look for me, for example if i don't come to class and don't answer my cell then she calls my house to find out where i am, etc.
We did kiss a couple of times, but each time she would tell me that it was a mistake and it would never happend again.
Eventually we had a talk, and basically what she said was that i will never be her boyfriend, because i am not her type, i am not social enough, i'm too melancholic, i don't know how to dance, etc. The thing is that she doesn't understand that we come from two different cultural backgrounds and i am trying to change, but she just doesn't realise that.
So what she always tells me, is that i am only good enough to be her friend and not good enough to be her boyfriend.
The problem is i love her, and i don't understand what is going on. She doesn't want to be in a relationship with me, but she doesn't let me leave either. She gets jealous if i talk to some girl or something.
In the last couple of weeks we have been fighting a lot. For reasons like, why did i buy her flowers, why do i pull out a chair for her if we go to a restaurant, why did i get her a gift for Valentine's day, etc.
When she's talking to other people she's always friendly and smiling, but lately whenever she is with me she is always upset, i try to do everything that she wants, try to make her happy. But everything i do is never good enough.
So I am really lost, because if she has no feelings for me, why doesn't she let me go and if she does why won't she at least try to have a relationship. She tells me that I am like a brother to her and i'm the closest person that she has here. But it's just really hard for me to be just a friend with her.
And i can't get over her, because i see her all the time in school and at work. And if i begin to act colder she begins to ask me what is going on and she tells me that i hurt her by behaving that way. So basically what it comes down to, whenever we are together, she tells me that we are just friends, i am not good enough to be her boyfriend, and i never do anything right, i am not fun enough. But when i am not there, then she calls me, asks me where i am, why am i not talking to her and this whole situation is just really confusing.
Suppose what i want to know is, is there anyway that this situation can turn into a relationship, or am i better off just giving up.
