A very strong relationship ended, what can I do to get her back!
I’m a 23 year Old Swedish University student just being dumped by my “High School” love after five years relationship. I love her Biblical, we had everything and she loved me by all her heart. This girl is like the best you can get and we have built up a loving “friendship” that I think is unique in a relationship. She dumped me yesterday! We had our issues but we always sort it out. First it was economical, I lost my scholarship but I got it back and got me a well paid job outside my studies. After that everything was working terrific for three years. After the summer 2007 things started to get bad. My best friends started to move from our city. I had just my few “boring” friends left, living with their girlfriends doing couple stuff or just wanted to go out and have a beer once every month. I felt alone and started nag about it all the time. I felt alone and soon I lost my side job. This was four months ago after a London trip to visit my friend. She got mad when I said I wanted to focus on my studies and not get a new job. After the New Year 2008 she refused to have sex with me and when we had sex she refused to kiss me.
She said that she didn’t feel that she needed it. The reason was likely all my nagging, me not supporting her during a very heavy weight lost and that I put everything like big social gatherings and a lot of other stuff on her table to fix. I did not get my “good” social life back I started to be little introvert and little depressive. I just hanged out with my friends left in the city once a week. A the second best “girl” friend (she is very nice and carrying for us) of my ex asked me at a party for three month ago why I was avoided “social gatherings” and why we never hanged out as couple anymore like going to her birthday party as a team, like we always did before. I didn’t say anything to her. But my ex had started that time saying that I was not fitting in anymore and that “Our” friends didn’t like me. I was too deep, not an easy going guy. When she dumped me she said that she wanted to hang out with happy, nice, easy people, living there life.
We started to fight about me doing “nothing” except studying and that I didn’t was social enough. The money was not an issue. I have some savings. Soon she started to hang around with some very outgoing “Gay men” and party people and I was excluded from it. My ex and her best friend (She is very social and hate commitment) bought a trip to Asia Six weeks ago. She called me the first week and sent a lot of “I love you and miss you mails”. (When she dumped me she said that this was just a routine to her and that she missed me, not as lover but as a friend)
Then everything stopped and she sent like “Hello mails”. (When she met some hippy friend talking about living her life every day) I didn’t understand why she stopped and I thought it was something wrong with my Mail so I checked her E-mail. (I had never done that before) and saw that she had written to this hippy friend that she was about to dump her boyfriend. I called a friend and he said that I should let her know this. I sent this pathetic “I love you letter” and she responded that this was tuff on her and she need to think about “Us”. I Bought a ticked to a friend same week living in a small University Town and did some heavy drinking and sort my mind out during a couple of days. So I had been ready for this. When she came home she dumped me on the phone when I said I didn’t want to meet to “Talk”. I was very cool about her dumping me.
I checked her E-mail out today, very pathetic and wrong but I did it. She writes to her best friend following: “I called “Dog”. It was rather hard for me. He didn’t want to meet, maybe it would have been bad if had met. It feels good and he understood everything and took it well. I will contact him after a while so we can talk and so he can get his cloths back. I think “Dog” realize this is good for him. Get his life back and do stuff for him. I have explained for him that I’m not in loved with him so it doesn’t matter if he fixes stuff like work (The last is not true, It was I that told her that I don’t think matters if I fix myself) I was happy to day and hang out with a friend (This friend is together with my friend) and planned stuff. She told me “Dog” was devastated at the beginning but I think he has started to accept that it’s over. She also told me that she has stated to get “Macho” and say that he would have dumped me. (The last thing is not true; I have just said that I have fixed applications to another University for Master-studies and that I understand why she dumped me). I feel good but have a little bad conscience. I hope everything works out for him in the future. “
I love her and I really want her back. I just don’t know how I will fix this. I have just a couple of friends left in my city, and most of them are boring and don’t go out much or are connected with her in a way that it will be troublesome to call them. I will soon start to write my final paper (exam). It will take about ten weeks and for many people this is a very lonely time. Because of all the effort you put in it. When the exam finished my friends are coming back from there University cities and I will have a better social life during the summer.
I will likely work a lot during the summer so I can spend a lot of money when I go to a small but very fun (famous for it in Scandinavia) University just one hour from my large anonyms’ city and my very boring City University. I will just have fun, getting to know new people, living in a student ghetto, go to cage parties, and work at the student fraternity. My ex second best friend’s lives there so she go up there rather often. I have neglected to take up new friends just because I liked to hang out with my tight friends, work, taking care of my studies, hanging out with my ex and do fun stuff with her and other couples. Now that time is over.
I will all of this! But I don’t want to end this relationship.
