Printable View
How would you deal with an older career woman (30ish) still living in her parents house. Would you bother to get to know her or would you just assume she's a loser and move on. Or would you be willing to give her a chance and think hey maybe she just didn't meet the right person and to boot she's probably rich ... there are possibilities. What are your thoughts???
In some cultures, it is expected that a woman stay home until she marries, but generally speaking, I think anyone still living at home this long would make me suspect they have maturity issues. You don't need to "find someone" in order to live on your own.
I used to think the 30-ish guy I lived next door to was a loser because he still lived with his mom, but as I got to know them I realized that she was incapable of taking care of herself and that he was actually a stand-up guy who would have happily moved out ages ago but couldn't.
Unless you know the whole story, you can't make any judgments about what's going on there.
I probably wouldn't even know this woman lived with her parents until I asked her out. If had had to pick her up at her parent's house, I wouldn't necessarily even know that it wasn't HER house unless she told me. But assuming I found that out, I would put that aside (sort of in the back of my mind as something to bring up again if there were repeat dates) and just enjoy the date with her.
Look.. that's like one detail.. that's like saying that if she had kids, you wouldn't consider her.. Honestly.. If you're younger.. just walk away.. she most likely is only interested in you for sex.. If you're around the same age or older.. then you should really get to know HER first..Quote:
Originally Posted by Larousse [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Her housing situation does NOT tell you who she is.. Get to know her for HER first.. you may not even like her.. but if you do.. you'll be in a better position to revisit this issue and think to yourself if it's even an issue at this point..
My aunt up in Westchester lived her whole life in a mother & daughter 2-family home with her parents.. (Her father had Alzheimer's).. She could have left, but she wanted to stay.. She felt her father needed her next to him, and at least wanted to give him that comfort that family provides so that his condition wouldn't get any worse.. Then she met her husband.. they got married.. they moved in together.. In HER house.. and they still live with eachother till this day.. They had a child 3 years ago.. and living with your parents comes in handy.. costs & benefits.. but it's pretty much the ability to leave your child with someone very trustworthy during the day while you're out at work.. and then be able to come back home.. and not be away from your family..
Honestly.. that's perfectly fine.. personally.. if my wife in the future didn't have a problem.. I would definitely want to live in such a home, to bring both families together and have them around all the time (no, jokes with in-laws don't apply, all in-laws love me and my parents love mostly everyone).. Just having family around all the time, multiple souls in the house.. is a whole new feeling.. a good warm feeling..
So you definitely SHOULD get to know her first.. and not look at this issue as some road-block.. Unless you understand the situation well enough.. and then, you're really not happy with things.. You can't automatically disqualify someone on her housing situation alone..
What the ****? :P Rich? Is this a guy posting or a girl?Quote:
Originally Posted by Larousse [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
If you mean, "more financially stable" than a woman who's 20ish.. then yes.. she most likely is..
Best,
GrkScorp
Isn't the OP a male?
I am assuming if there were extenuating circumstances (ill parents, etc.), it would have been mentioned since it is obviously relevant.
Get to know her at least if you like her.....just making that effort doesn't mean you have to make a lifetime commitment. Sounds like you don't know why shes still @ home. Has she been married, does she have a kid, has she moved out before, don't intrude but get to know her and eventually you'll come to know why she is still @ home.Quote:
Originally Posted by Larousse [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
If she's leeching off her parents, and just trying to get by with being lazy then thats probably not someone you'd want in a serious relationship
is living with your parents that big of a deal??
i find that a lot of people (not all) want to move out because they want the freedom and independence. sure they love not being told what to do, but after the bills start to pill up, where do you think they end up again??
raverboy
If she's Latin and single, you can by far consider that normal.
well, the 34 year old Italian guy I "was" with has just moved back home while looking for a new place.
at first I thought loser, but its a cultural thing.
sorry, we can't all be like paris hilton.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tedel [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
raverboy
Personally i try never to judge and I try to find out what a person is really like. There may be reasons for still living at home.
I'm nearly 24 and i think its sad being at home with the parents. BUT - I have reasoning behind it. i split with longterm ex last year and moved back home. Didn't buy another place because I am goig to Afghanistan. So my life is on hold until after that in a way.
I think my reason is fine. if I just said i still live at home because I do...then I would be a saddo.