should I stay or leave?

I met this guy about a month ago. We really like eachother. The problem is is that he has a panic disorder which is really crippling his life. On top of that, he recently got out of a two year relationship to a girl he was about to marry. Understandably he doesn't want to rush into a relationship, so we're just dating.

I totally respect what he wants (or doesn't want for that matter), but at the same time I feel as though I need someone to lean on instead of him leaning on me. I suffer from depression, but I don't think it would be appropriate to go to him for some comfort because that is something a boyfriend would do, not a person you're dating. Plus, with all his problems it seems downright selfish of me to pile more stuff on top of it.

The thing is, I don't know where this is going, if anywhere. Yes I want a relationship, and I enjoy his company. But should I really wait around hoping for something more? Or should I just move on? If I should move on, I'd feel as though I'm abandoning him during this tough time in his life. I just don't know what to do.

You should keep your depression off him if possible, because that is a very tough thing you are going through, and would be hard on him as well. You should stick around and see how things go between the two of you, maybe at one point you will both be there for each other to lean on like it should be.

It doesn't sound like either of you are coming from a position of strength right now, and that is usually a recipe for disaster. You both should get professional help before pursuing a relationship with anyone. You owe it to your future partner to be the healthiest person you can be.

You dont have anything long term invested in this relationship what is it there you'd be missing? youre both going through things and have issues which need to be worked on, seperate from one another.

Why would you feel like youre abandoning him? Youve been "dating" a month. I wouldnt feel negative about it. If youre wanting a relationship than you should be looking towards a relationship that can be stable right away.

I would see a professional to help you with your depression.
Also, does your partner see anybody about his panic disorder?
If not, it may help for him to also see a professional so that he can improve and as long as you are there for one another and support one another, then that should be enough.

I hope you both overcome this tough time in your life :)

Good Luck and Best wishes,

X

Thank you for the responses. We are both seeing professionals for our issues. And you're right, I shouldn't bring up being depressed, and I won't.