Eternal Frustration of a Flawed Personality
I don't typically venture into Dating Talk let alone post in it let alone make a new topic in it, but I need to get this out. It seems as though when I become attracted to someone I get excited about liking them then end up inevitably boosting my hopes to impossible heights and tear them down using my own system to find some way to convince myself it will NEVER work. This has always been the way of things. I broke my heart over this girl that I've become really attracted to yet she doesn't even have a clue that I'm into her at all. When it comes down to it I always know the logical thing to do, just tell her. However I just worry so much of the bad and never see the good adding up. Personally, I don't see the point. By now I've had so many traumatic sexual experiences that I've become entirely uncomfortable even thinking about ever being in one again. I want so earnestly to pop the vow of celibacy and let it all no longer be a part of life for me. But however much I want to just rid myself of relationships forever, there's always a huge part of me that wants someone. It's a huge character flaw and one I would really rather be able to ignore, but alas I'm doomed to be a mistake. I don't really need advice or anything, just glad if anyone takes the time to read all this but my threads typically go unread. :surprised