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At that crucial point
Hi, I am a 36 year old mother of one. For the past 4 years, I have been in a relationship with a lovely man, though lately things have turned to custard so to speak. A year ago, he asked me to support him financially while he started up his own business. I could see how excited he was about this, and because I loved him and wanted him to be happy, I agreed.
This started the long hours away from home and I ended up feeling like I was in a relationship by myself. As the business did not go as he hoped, he started to critisise aspects of me - saying I didn't exercise enough, I smoked too much, I needed to stop drinking etc. (not that I do these things often). It got to the point where my self esteem became quite low and eventually I asked him to move out and sort his life out. There is an age difference too - he turns 30 this year and is having a turning 30 crisis - doesn't know what he wants out of life etc.
My son hasn't been taking this well, as he thinks of this man as his father. Don't get me wrong, he is a lovely person and I know he loves me and my son - but I feel like I have been doing all the compromising in this relationship and if we decide to get back together, things won't change because of his confusion about his life. I am right in asking him to stay away until he sorts through things? I'm not sure if I want him back either even though I do have feelings for him. Please help - any advise appreciated - sorry for the long post!
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Eeewww.
Okay, sorry to be mercenary, but just how much money does he owe you?
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I'm not sure really - as he didn't earn any money for about a year..quite a bit I guess, plus the 30,000 we had in savings. I'm not so much bothered about the money - it was more the feeling of being taken for granted. When he started the business, he promised me that if it didn't get up and running after one year he would go back to a real job. This didn't happen, so I guess there is a bit of resentment on my part.
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You SHOULD be bothered about the money. What is he trying to do- piss you off so he can skate out without paying you back?
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You were taken for granted. He was great to you when you supplied money but when you stopped supplying money, he started criticizing you. I would not trust him or be in a relationship with him if I were you.
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Avoid finance and romance as they do not mix well.