dont know how to make this right with her
ok heres the situation. about 2 months ago i got involved with a girl. no biggie right?....well there was a catch. she had made plans to move away a full 4 months before we started messin around. in the past 2 months she's hit me like nothing before. ive expressed my feelings for her to the point that in a couple of years when im done with my schooling i will look for her to see if our relationship can continue. she maintained she cares about me deeply but is putting up a shield to protect herself from the hurt she says she will feel when she leaves me (ive noticed this shield and its annoying)
as the time has come closer for her to leave she has stated (as she did before) that she doesnt want to break my heart or have her heartbroken and she wants us to stay friends for the remiender of her time here (about 4 weeks). this came up after a dicussion about our "status" and the different responses we gave to a mutual friend. i totally wasnt expecting her to say that and it hit me like a punch in the gut. from then on whenever i wanted to talk (face to face) about this there was always a reason she couldnt. prior to that she would always make a little time to swing by the crib or hang out. now she was too busy with family and work. the texts and phone calls slowed to a crawl and after our last conversation, which ended with a request by me that she at least wave goodbye when she leaves since shes so busy all of the sudden, (lots of sarcasim with a touch of anger) we havent spoken in 5 days.
im wondering if i should try and communicate with her or should i just let this be until she leaves. my gut tells me shes telling the truth when she says the reason shes doing this is to spare herself the heartache. i dont believe theres another guy involved (we both acknowledge because of the circumstances we are free to see whoever we want. i have chosen not to do so cause it doesnt seem right) and from what ive heard from other people shes not the
"cheating" type nor is she dating anyone else. maybe im being selfish but the idea of her cutting this off with a few weeks left to go hurts more then her actually leaving. at least i was prepared for that. this came out of the blue.
by talking to her i feel i may risk looking like a desperate fool and getting pissed off by what i might hear. by not talking to her i may risk ending any contact with her at all once shes gone. i love her like i havent loved another in a long time (yes i told her) and i would hate to lose her as a friend as well as a lover. that being said i wont degrade myself for any women no matter how much i care about them. i still have my self respect and i wont trade that in for nothing.
so should i call her? text her? or just say goodbye when she leaves?
