Moving on????

Hi guys,

A couple of months ago I have separated with my husband. He was very abusive and cheated on me in the end. It`s been a tough time for me and our 8 month old son. I just need some ideas of what I need to do to not think about him at all. I love him still very much, right now he is already involved with some other girl which is really killing me inside. Although he made it clear to me that he has replaced me already i'm still thinking about him every second still.. I want revenge but then again I just want to move on....:upset:

Aww, darling... any man who could leave his wife and 8 month old baby isn't any kind of man at all. :(

I suggest you invest all your time and energy into your little boy. It sounds like he is going to need a very loving mother to compensate for having such a crappy father.

Was he physically abusing you?

This is not the man you want to be with or the man you want raising your child. You may still have feelings for him, but you cannot possibly LIKE him. Break all contact, don't go out trying to find out what he's doing, and occupy yourself with something else.

Everytime you find yourself thinking about him, think about what he did to you and then do something ... work-out, read, play with your kid, etc

You Just Need To Ride The Emotions. You Have Just Experienced A Huge Loss. Allow Yourself To Grieve And Heal.you Have Too. I Know It Hurts Deeply, So Make Sure You Work On You- Evey Day Tell Yourself In The Mirror "i Love Me, I Deserve To Be Loved" Eventually It *will* Happen And Poof He'll Be Gone!!!!!

I am so sorry you are going through this. I have no advice but I have been noticing that men are leaving their wives after she has given birth and the child is always around the less than 10 months age. I've seen this in forums like this one and in real life. I know there must be studies on this phenomenon. He probably didn't see the pattern himself.

The best revenge is success and happiness, my dear.

I know that you must feel a lot of pain, and you probably miss him, but eventually that sadness and residual 'love' turns to anger. Just focus on you and your son and providing the best life you can for the two of you. Spend some time with friends and family. Don't talk to him.

All I can advise is to never ever take him back, if he tries to come back. What he has done to you is unforgiveable, and your son deserves a better role model than him.

What a heartbreaking post. It sounds like you need a good support system of friends and family right now. If you can, enlist some help from them. Stay strong, Priincy. Take comfort in knowing that you and your son deserve much better than this man.

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Originally Posted by Priincy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I just need some ideas of what I need to do to not think about him at all.

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1. Occupy your mind with activities so it doesn't wander. It will be hard because you have a responsibility for your child. But still, always have something planned in advance so you don't get side tracked into thinking about him. With time your thoughts for him will become less and less

2. Try to think about him in past tense. Eliminate all "we are's" from your vocubulary and replace them with "he was". These mental queues for coming to terms with a closed chapter in your life.

3. Spend more time with family and friends. Don't be alone at times like these, they will help you get through it.

There is no way some guy has a baby 8 months ago and than cheats on his wife and than leaves her. Man that sounds like a pathetic excuse for a human being, and to think he passed on his lame genes, unless priincy is maybe a bit to blame herself and is holding back some info. Doesn't matter, take care of the kid...he is what should matter now.

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Originally Posted by Only-virgins [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

There is no way some guy has a baby 8 months ago and than cheats on his wife and than leaves her. .

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Oh, OV. I've known a few people this has happened to. Usually it's the case of the guy freaking out and saying "I'm not ready for a kid and responsibility," so they just run off.

Tori Spelling's hubby Dean was married with a new baby when he left his wife for Tori. The wife was more than a little pissed off...think she even wrote a book.

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Originally Posted by bluesummer [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

The best revenge is success and happiness, my dear.

I know that you must feel a lot of pain, and you probably miss him, but eventually that sadness and residual 'love' turns to anger. Just focus on you and your son and providing the best life you can for the two of you. Spend some time with friends and family. Don't talk to him.

All I can advise is to never ever take him back, if he tries to come back. What he has done to you is unforgiveable, and your son deserves a better role model than him.

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That is the best advice ever, I followed or still try to follow it myself. We were separated when my kid was 20 months... before that, he was not there for his baby as well. He hasnt seen his kid more than couple of times since these years.. Anyway, I returned to my job and finished my degree. It is amazing to be successful, your son will be proud of you and will love you to pieces specially if you didnt leave him for a man.. That is what I do.. even if i worked hard, I do it for him and he knows that.. he is six but can evaluate what i do for him.. you will be over that but it takes some pain and cry then heal.. injuries come if you contact him again.. I cant deny I still remember him or even dream of him because we were in love most of our marriage life but that is True Life not romance or films.. we have to live it.. You will be better soon .. try engage urself in anything; work, job or voluntary work if you could. Family support is great but if you could find it, I could not.. Being on your own with ur son when he is a bit older is a blessing. He is deprived of it. Feel free to express what you feel on the forum, you will always find my support.

I admit I am not perfect. I have my part in our fights. But no man has the right to hit any woman. And the whole time we were married I was the one providing for our family. When I get home from work i`m already tired and the house is a mess, our son is dirty I get very frustrated. All I wanted him to be was responsible.

I admit I am not perfect. I have my part in our fights. But no man has the right to hit any woman. And the whole time we were married I was the one providing for our family. When I get home from work i`m already tired and the house is a mess, our son is dirty I get very frustrated. All I wanted him to be was responsible.

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Originally Posted by Only-virgins [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

There is no way some guy has a baby 8 months ago and than cheats on his wife and than leaves her. Man that sounds like a pathetic excuse for a human being, and to think he passed on his lame genes, unless priincy is maybe a bit to blame herself and is holding back some info. Doesn't matter, take care of the kid...he is what should matter now.

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Originally Posted by Only-virgins [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

There is no way some guy has a baby 8 months ago and than cheats on his wife and than leaves her. Man that sounds like a pathetic excuse for a human being, and to think he passed on his lame genes, unless priincy is maybe a bit to blame herself and is holding back some info. Doesn't matter, take care of the kid...he is what should matter now.

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Sadly, OV, it happens more than you think. Birth control should be mandatory & an approved parenting course needed to have children. Its harder to get a dog than it is a kid.

He was physically abusive...

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Originally Posted by Only-virgins [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

There is no way some guy has a baby 8 months ago and than cheats on his wife and than leaves her. Man that sounds like a pathetic excuse for a human being, and to think he passed on his lame genes, unless priincy is maybe a bit to blame herself and is holding back some info. Doesn't matter, take care of the kid...he is what should matter now.

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Originally Posted by miSSleepy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Was he physically abusing you?

This is not the man you want to be with or the man you want raising your child. You may still have feelings for him, but you cannot possibly LIKE him. Break all contact, don't go out trying to find out what he's doing, and occupy yourself with something else.

Everytime you find yourself thinking about him, think about what he did to you and then do something ... work-out, read, play with your kid, etc

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