i DONT WANT TO MOVE ON..

Me and my ex was together for 3 years i was 17 when i met her and she was my first love and only love so far in my life. we broke up and after saying to my bestfriend she thinks it would take months to get over me, 2 weeks later shes with somone else and to make things even worse the person shes with is one of my so called friends. After a few months of wondering how on earth im ever going to get over her i finally started to forget about things and started thinking about myself abit. When we broke up i didnt want it to end so i had a really hard time letting go espicaily watching her go with one of my friends you have no idea how much that hurt. but i forgot about her i was having fun and started enjoying myself. we have been apart now for almost a year we have not even said a word to eachother in that year, im 21 now and for some reason shes still has a big affect on me i cant forget her no matter how hard i try i cant.

i dont mean i just have feeling for her i think im still in love her i miss her so much and there not a day i havent thought about her my head telling me shes with somone else and shes happy, i know that and the last thing i would want is to ruin that for her but on the other hand i cant live with myself knowing that i love her still and she doesnt even know. i want to speak to her again i need to know wether she still ever thinks about me but i dont think i can speak to her. i have had 3 relationships since we broke up a year ago and they have bin nothing compaired to what we had, not even close.

everyday im asking myself how did i let her get away, how can i fix this and what should i do??

after all thats gone on there should be tons of reasons why i should hate her but i dont im mad about her still and if she ever came back to me i would jump at the chance to put things right seems like im jus waiting for her but she not going to come back what happens when you dont want to move on and you just want the one you was in love first with?? HELP PLEASE :upset:

You MUST move on. It will hurt for some time being your first love of 3 years. That is along time and people take a while to get over things like this. You can take away from this experience the things you do love about her and maybe you can find someone else with these similar traits, but you won't have that chance unless you move on. Sounds like you really want to talk to her but if you do and things go sour how bad will you feel then? I know for a fact you will find someone else if you let it, could be a while but things sometimes aren't meant to be. I have been in your situation before and dragged it out for a long time and trust me it gets you no where in your own head so move on already!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by essdee [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

what happens when you dont want to move on and you just want the one you was in love first with??

---

You usually end up chasing after her only to find out that she gets more and more pushed away by your desperation. Usually when someone knows they can have you at the snap of their fingers, it turns into a big turn off.

Then you can sulk and think that nobody loves you and you were never meant to be with anyone anyway. Then you can start listening to depressing music, wear black clothing, warn people how love sux and not to go there, scare little kids with boogey women and sulk further. Then you can realize if she got over you so quickly then maybe it was better to let her go anyway, there's plenty of fish in the sea. Then you can start being happy again.

It's only natural, most of us have already been there.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mishanya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You usually end up chasing after her only to find out that she gets more and more pushed away by your desperation. Usually when someone knows they can have you at the snap of their fingers, it turns into a big turn off.

Then you can sulk and think that nobody loves you and you were never meant to be with anyone anyway. Then you can start listening to depressing music, wear black clothing, warn people how love sux and not to go there, scare little kids with boogey women and sulk further. Then you can realize if she got over you so quickly then maybe it was better to let her go anyway, there's plenty of fish in the sea. Then you can start being happy again.

It's only natural, most of us have already been there.

---

You have been there? The black clothing and lame depressing music and all? lol....I didn't have that side effect for some reason and I still think love is bad ass, I just think people are dumbass with the way they react to it.

Heh, hey, consider yourself luckier than me, at least. I've been in love with this one girl for nearly 14, 15 years (and I'm only 19!). When we were kids, I was way too shy to ever express that, though. Earlier this year, I got back in contact with her via MySpace, and my feelings came back after learning about the kind of person she is now.

Things have been going good (I haven't really shown any signs of "desperation" or "clinginess"), up until recently. :( When I casually asked her about meeting up, catching up in person, etc., she just never responded to my message. And it's weird, because earlier on, I had mentioned to her that I was considering attending the college she's going to (er, I found her through the school; I wasn't planning on going there "because of her"), and that I didn't know anyone there but her, and she responded that she'd be very happy to show me around up there and get comfortable, and everthing. So why all the sudden do I get blown off NOW? *Sigh*

I dunno, maybe things aren't COMPLETELY over for me and this girl; maybe some day, once her and I have both matured, our paths will cross again, and I'll get my moment with her. But 14-15 years is a LONG time to have carried these feelings, especially considering how young am I am... I don't know how I'll even BEGIN to get over this girl if I don't get together with her someday. :/

If you wait 'til she gets to like mid-twenties, there's a danger she'll get into a marriage-scenario with someone else, so keep that in mind while you're pining over her.

Oh, sweety. I'm sorry this has happened to you. The first long lasting love leaves a thorn inside all of us. Pull out that thorn, so that your wound could heal before the thorn becomes a part of you.

One day you'll meet a lovely woman, it's just a matter of time.

As written above by Mishanya, most of us have already been there. Who knows why things like this happen? I guess in order to be prepared for future love life, not to repeat our mistakes, but to foresee deceptions and appreciate every second of pure love more.

Don't let yourself drown in apathy. Kill this missing for her by upgrading yourself. Be successful, world loves winners. Then she'll see what she missed, but, I tell you, by then it would be too late because you'll move on.

AND/OR try to think what that guy of yours has what you don't? Learn to recognize false friends and g/fs on time for the sake of your better future.

I know that feeling. I also have a friend just like u, its been 2 years since he has talked to his ex and he still can't get over her because its his first love. whenever we're at parties and she is there, he always gets depressed then starts drinking when he sees her talking to other guys at the party. then screaming out stupid shit.

You must realise that some things aren't meant to be.
Stop comparing her to other girls u date.. just forget she ever existed. i noe its easier said then done. but you WILL forget her in time.. because one day you'll be happily married to another girl. just accept the fact is it WILL NOT be her..
Think of it as HER LOSS for not being with you.
There are plenty of girls out there, why don't you give them a chance and date them without comparing them to your ex gf..
your not giving those new girls a chance to get close to you because u are still not over ur ex. it isn't fair to them.
Being emotional and upset over her also affects those around you.. i don't know if you know but ur friends and family are hugely affected when ur being all emo.

Exactly...don't be *that* guy. Life is full of disappointments. You might not get the job you want, or get into the school you want to get into, etc., This situation is no different. It wasn't meant to be, so you have to move on. Let her go.

Do something more symbolic if you need to. Burn all her pictures, throw away stuff she gave you, block her myspace. Then pat yourself on the back for freeing yourself from these emotions that are keeping you from opening up yourself to others.

Then suffer.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Tone [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Then suffer.

---

Ha! My thoughts exactly. :P

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Tone [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Then suffer.

---

That is cruel and is what probably will happen.

I think I had it easy for a recovery...

It didn't take too long for me, I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I realized she was a complete bitch to me. And I want someone that will treat me with respect. I'm also the kind of person that really doesn't dwell over bad things. Shit happens, nothing you can do about it, being sad about it does nothing for you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Only-virgins [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

That is cruel and is what probably will happen.

---

Exactly our point, OV. Free will.... its yours for the taking. :P

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Only-virgins [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You have been there? The black clothing and lame depressing music and all? lol....I didn't have that side effect for some reason and I still think love is bad ass, I just think people are dumbass with the way they react to it.

---

Hehe You've never wear black clothes or heared depressing melodys? But the "I love death because only she waits for me" sound quite depressive hehe lol. I didn't know You're polish ;]

And going back to the issue...Everyone has or had to move on,me You and maybe Your neighbour. It's damn bad feeling,those confusions and memories which have stuck up in Your head and don't want to vanish.When I'm through this I always wish that there would be something like in "eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind",that You can simply erase someone from Your memory.But I want to tell You,that one day will come when You will feel that it just simply has gone.And I'm sure You will know it .There is 6 000 000 000 around the world,there has to be another "Second half"...