So lost and confused, I just dont know how to help.
People this is my story. I am in love with my best friend, but I have never ever crossed any line with her. She met the man she is with when she was 15 and he was 25. They have been married for 23 years, and the marriage has been verbally abusive and violent as in him throwing things, punching holes in the wall, etc. She finally got the courage to leave him, but went right back after two months. During that two months I got even closer to her, but never ever crossed any lines because she needed me as a friend. I love her as a friend first over anything else. During that time she has admitted to me all the abuse, that he is a father figure, and most importantly she does not love him. She went back to him, because her pastor advised her to, and because she says he has changed. I have told her only time will tell, but she is so closed mined it she doesnt listen. I see her everyday, but soon that may change. She says that he is now going to allow her to school so she is going to quit her job. I am worried sick over this because if he returns to his old ways and she has no job even if she gets the courage to leave she will not have the means to do so. It seems lately she has been distancing herself from me, but than again maybe its just me because she has had a lot to deal with. This is someone who I love with my heart and soul, and I do not know what to do. She means everything to me as a friend, and I write this as the concern of a friend. A lot of people may say she must want to be there because she is there, but this is someone since age 15 has been told what to do. Even if she told me that she felt the same way as I did I would tell her we would need to wait, because she needs to find herself as a person first, because she has never been given that oppertunity. What do I do? I know if she quits I will not be able to be there for her each day or just whenever she needs me. She knows I love her, but I dont know if she even knows what true love is or even allow herself to love anyone else because she is very religious. What do I do to convince her to not make any fast decisions, and wait and see if her husband doesnt go back to his old ways. I have another question that is more directed to the females. I have thought about writing her a letter revealing all my worries, my true feelings regarding everything, and things about myself that I have never told her. Should I do this? Is doing something like this not manly? To me if she told me she was leaving him, and moving away to start over than I would be the happiest person on earth, because than I would know she would be giving herself a chance to live. What do you think, about writing the letter, about everything? The sad thing is her mother is in a relationship where the guy beats her, but she continues to go back everytime.
