What should I do with my ex? please help ?

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27-08-08, 01:34 PM
babyblue

What should I do with my ex? please help ?

I have a question about relationship.

my ex and I broke up 2 years ago ( I know, like all other stories =) ) .
He left me for another woman. I was left heart broken and I thought that was the end of the world.

it took me a very long time to get where I am now , I am still single, and I do admit I think of him everyday still.
I still think of him in every song I listen or romance moives that I watched.

between these 2 years, I still talked to him from time to time.
at first, I was the one who kept contacting him and hoping maybe he would change his mind again and realised that he 'd loss the best thing in his life.
( he was still with that chick, when I first started contacting with him )

later on, I realised it wasn't do me any good so I forced myself to distance him and meanwhile , tried to get my life back on track.

he wrote me emails or called me from time to time. sometimes I answered, sometimes I don't.
cuz' to be honest, i was still mad at him for the way he put me through.
but I do admit , he still on my mind everyday .
sometimes I do got worry maybe I will be single forever.

around this year, he broke up with that chick ( I remember he said he 'd never loved anyone as much as he loved me , and I believe that is true, cuz' he didn't seem to be very into that chick )

he wanted to see me and meet me up. I refused ( we were only talking via emails ) , I explained to him that I couldn't trust him and I was afraid that my heart will get broken again .

He still contacted me, write me emails from time to time.
I don't answer every single of his emails , but I do read every emails written from him, i even saved it in a folder .

so you see, I 'd never gotten over him.

yesterday I 'd received an email from him, here is what he wrote
--------------------------------------...
From: Him
Sent: Monday, August 25, 2008 8:53:19 AM
To: Me
alright, you win .
I'm not gonna bother you anymore. I only contact you for selfish reasons anyway (because it makes me happy to talk with you, you are a kind and funny familiar part of my life).

I didn't mean to cause you any pain or make anything harder for you. I wish there was something I could have done for you, or that you could have relied on me for something and i could have helped or something.
--------------------------------------...

I don't know what to do anymore. I still miss him and I do admit I still love him. but what does he want from me and I really cannot go through the whole break up thing again.

Please help me and give me some advise , thanks

=/
27-08-08, 09:24 PM
donna777

This is going to hurt but, honestly, it seems that he's not in love with you anymore based on what he wrote. He admitted that he's emailing or calling you simply for his own pleasure. That's not love. He was honest enough to admit that he's selfish.

Also remember that he left you for another woman, right? Don't allow yourself to be hurt again.
28-08-08, 08:46 PM
ecojeanne

ye i completely agree with donna777, this guy is luving the attention uve given him....he not understanding what he did to u, he's looking for a get out of jail card thats all....dont give it to him, he was a jerk and probably always will be...its heartwrenching i kno but keep being the logical strong person u seem to be by not going back with this guy
29-08-08, 01:17 AM
Tedel

Stay away from him. Enough said.
29-08-08, 04:06 AM
jennyc

I agree with the above posts, dont even bother responding, as much as you want to, even if the anger takes you over.
29-08-08, 09:45 AM
Dasein

Quote:

Originally Posted by babyblue [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

around this year, he broke up with that chick ( I remember he said he 'd never loved anyone as much as he loved me , and I believe that is true, cuz' he didn't seem to be very into that chick )

Is that why he dumped you for her?

I really don't think that this guy has any inkling at the hurt he has caused you.

That part in his email where he said "I wish there was something I could have done for you, or that you could have relied on me for something and i could have helped or something." Maybe you should have responded by saying that you would like to have trusted him. You wish you could rely on him NOT to hurt you. You wish you could rely on him not to mess with your emotions.

I think this one is manthrax... be cautious with him.
29-08-08, 10:23 AM
starbuck

Babyblue,
Why have you not tried to move on from this guy? You are holding onto ,and it's not doing you any good. He's lost your trust, and you can't love someone without it. So having any feelings for him at this point seems to be an exercise in futility.

I'm not sure it really does any good to save his emails since it's still a link from you to him. I think you should cut your ties with him. He hurt you. Why keep letting him into your life and thoughts?
29-08-08, 12:07 PM
Dasein

Quote:

Originally Posted by starbuck [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Babyblue,
Why have you not tried to move on from this guy? You are holding onto ,and it's not doing you any good. He's lost your trust, and you can't love someone without it. So having any feelings for him at this point seems to be an exercise in futility.

I'm not sure it really does any good to save his emails since it's still a link from you to him. I think you should cut your ties with him. He hurt you. Why keep letting him into your life and thoughts?

Starbuck makes a very good point. Sometimes we over sentimentalise people. Like saving their emails or notes or little things they bought. This keeps a hold over you in a way. Things get a bit rosier and it can change the reality of the situation.

I think you should try to do a few simple things first as Starbuck suggested. Delete the emails, sms, and anything that reminds you of him. He hasn't really got the hint that he has hurt you..he is waiting for you to come back like a puppy. Do NOT let him do that.