just confused...

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29-08-08, 01:38 PM
DeTroit_4Win

just confused...

I met this girl about 7 months ago and we became good friends. She's 24 and I'm 19. I talked to her a lot and the more I talked to her the more I found out how much in common we have, so I started developing feelings for her. I tried to ignore it but it just grew stronger. I told her 2 weeks ago how I felt about her and I'm confused on what she is trying to say. I told her because I taught she just wanted to be friends and a rejection would help me get over her and be at her point.

When I told her, the first thing she said was, "but I'm old." I told her that, I know and that if she simply tells me that she just likes me as a friend, I would be able to move on. She then said that she refused to answer but I told her she couldn't. Then she said "that even if I said I did, I'm old." Then, I told her that she wasn't that old and she then said, come on. It's 5 years and put an emphasize on five! I told her it wasn't that bad and she said easy for you to say. Then I said look, just say you want to be friends and then she said that I'm trying to kill her. I said, it's simple. I like you, do you like me? and she said "and If i were to say yes? I'm Old." I told her that we could make it work if we try. Anything is possible. Then she said that I'm trying to kill her, again. She told me that I didn't want an old 24-year old and I told her I did. Then she said, "I'm not going to say yes and I'm not going to say no. Your an awesome guy and I just dont want anything to happen to our friendship." I told her that it would of been easier if she just told me that she only likes me as a friend. And she says "but I didn't say i didn't like you. I just want to keep it the way it is right now." She said, "I'm glad you told me. and don't think I'm blowing you off." I told her that I rather have her blow me off and she said that she cant. I asked her why and she said just because.

I don't know what to think anymore. I really like her. In a way I just want to move on because its killing me. But I still wanna fight for her a little more cause she seems worth it. She never told me that she didn't like me which was what I was AT LEAST hoping to get.

We are still good friends. We acted as if that never happened. Nothing has really changed. We still act the same around each other as before I told her.

She hasn't been in a relationship in a couple years and the ones that she has been in, were bad. It's hard to get her to open up. She really tries to keep things in but she tells me a lot about herself.

What do I do now? I'm usually good at moving on and all that but this is just confusing more than anything.

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Update
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Ok, so I decided to continue to chase after this girl, and this chase as been going on for about a month now. I feel like we have gone to an "unusual" type of friendship. Because I'm chasing after her and she knows it but at the same time, we're good friends. I'm always letting her know that I like her. I'm texting/emailing her and she replies. I tease her and she teases me back. Whenever she sees me, she gets excited. Here's the thing: She knows that I like her, but she doesn't say anything to put an end to the chase.

She doesn't say "no" or "yes". She just lets it continue.

I still really like her.

Am I just wasting my time?? Should I continue or not??
29-08-08, 01:52 PM
1averagejoe

She sounds very immature...I mean common, it's not that hard to give a straight answer. You had the balls to step forward and tell her how you feel, the least she can do is give you a straight answer. She sounds like a high schooler saying, "I'm not saying I like you, but I'm not saying I don't like you."

Really now, I'm not sure what you can do about this. Maybe ask her out to dinner, get her alone, make her feel comfortable so maybe she will open up a little bit?

I'm not too sure about this situation to be honest. Wait for others to respond and give their opinion.
29-08-08, 02:08 PM
Dasein

If 24 is old then I am a fossil :(
29-08-08, 02:32 PM
michzel creativ

24 years old is not that old...she's just afraid what would be the outcome in your relationship if ever both of you will be together.
Age doesn't matter...If you truly love her don't stop, time will come her sweet YES! will be yours.
01-09-08, 07:11 AM
DeTroit_4Win

Quote:

Originally Posted by michzel creativ [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

24 years old is not that old...she's just afraid what would be the outcome in your relationship if ever both of you will be together.
Age doesn't matter...If you truly love her don't stop, time will come her sweet YES! will be yours.

How would I go about continuing to pursue this one? What if she was just trying to say no without coming off bad or something like that...
01-09-08, 07:22 AM
ecojeanne

well i dont think u shld start thinkin too deeply about this....i reckon she thinks she's too old for u and may look on u as a kid....i wld advise don't get too cosy wth her....have fun....be relaxed and show her u r a MAN hehe

have a look at this

http:
//jokes.jdonuts.com/2007/11/things-that-make-you-man.html

:)
01-09-08, 08:33 AM
starbuck

Detroit, it sounds like she likes you, but she is pretty concerned about the age difference, and it's a valid concern. She's acknowledging that you are at different life stages, and she is questioning whether or not you and she will be good partners.

She doesn't sound immature to me, just lacking in directness. When she says, "I'm old" it could mean "You're too young."

You can keep pursuing her, but you may have to do alot of convincing in regards to your maturity. Even if you've hooked her, the age difference will most likely keep coming up in your relationship. I don't know if this is a reservation she is going to get over that easily.
01-09-08, 11:52 AM
fyte

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeTroit_4Win [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

How would I go about continuing to pursue this one? What if she was just trying to say no without coming off bad or something like that...

Just accept whatever she will tell you or something that would hurt your feelings, at least you've tried.
To make her yours,.. don't stop on courting her. Send her some flowers, ecards, emails, or be with her all day long.
01-09-08, 12:03 PM
DeTroit_4Win

Quote:

Originally Posted by starbuck [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Detroit, it sounds like she likes you, but she is pretty concerned about the age difference, and it's a valid concern. She's acknowledging that you are at different life stages, and she is questioning whether or not you and she will be good partners.

She doesn't sound immature to me, just lacking in directness. When she says, "I'm old" it could mean "You're too young."

You can keep pursuing her, but you may have to do alot of convincing in regards to your maturity. Even if you've hooked her, the age difference will most likely keep coming up in your relationship. I don't know if this is a reservation she is going to get over that easily.

Well, I don't want to keep pursuing her if she can't get over the age difference because then I'll just risk losing a good friend.
Should I even bring this topic up again?

Because right now its as if it never happened. We are even able to talk about other girls. Just like before.

I don't think she is all that interested but she is good at hiding so I just don't know.

Usually, I don't bother this much over one girl. I just want her to say that she doesn't feel that way about me so that I can just get some closure on this. That way I can just go, "oh well, she doesn't like me. There's nothing I can do about that. Then move on." But this is hard...
25-09-08, 11:49 AM
DeTroit_4Win

update on first post.
25-09-08, 03:06 PM
nanyen

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeTroit_4Win [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I met this girl about 7 months ago and we became good friends. She's 24 and I'm 19. I talked to her a lot and the more I talked to her the more I found out how much in common we have, so I started developing feelings for her. I tried to ignore it but it just grew stronger. I told her 2 weeks ago how I felt about her and I'm confused on what she is trying to say. I told her because I taught she just wanted to be friends and a rejection would help me get over her and be at her point.

When I told her, the first thing she said was, "but I'm old." I told her that, I know and that if she simply tells me that she just likes me as a friend, I would be able to move on. She then said that she refused to answer but I told her she couldn't. Then she said "that even if I said I did, I'm old." Then, I told her that she wasn't that old and she then said, come on. It's 5 years and put an emphasize on five! I told her it wasn't that bad and she said easy for you to say. Then I said look, just say you want to be friends and then she said that I'm trying to kill her. I said, it's simple. I like you, do you like me? and she said "and If i were to say yes? I'm Old." I told her that we could make it work if we try. Anything is possible. Then she said that I'm trying to kill her, again. She told me that I didn't want an old 24-year old and I told her I did. Then she said, "I'm not going to say yes and I'm not going to say no. Your an awesome guy and I just dont want anything to happen to our friendship." I told her that it would of been easier if she just told me that she only likes me as a friend. And she says "but I didn't say i didn't like you. I just want to keep it the way it is right now." She said, "I'm glad you told me. and don't think I'm blowing you off." I told her that I rather have her blow me off and she said that she cant. I asked her why and she said just because.

I don't know what to think anymore. I really like her. In a way I just want to move on because its killing me. But I still wanna fight for her a little more cause she seems worth it. She never told me that she didn't like me which was what I was AT LEAST hoping to get.

We are still good friends. We acted as if that never happened. Nothing has really changed. We still act the same around each other as before I told her.

She hasn't been in a relationship in a couple years and the ones that she has been in, were bad. It's hard to get her to open up. She really tries to keep things in but she tells me a lot about herself.

What do I do now? I'm usually good at moving on and all that but this is just confusing more than anything.

----------------------------------------------------
Update
----------------------------------------------------

Ok, so I decided to continue to chase after this girl, and this chase as been going on for about a month now. I feel like we have gone to an "unusual" type of friendship. Because I'm chasing after her and she knows it but at the same time, we're good friends. I'm always letting her know that I like her. I'm texting/emailing her and she replies. I tease her and she teases me back. Whenever she sees me, she gets excited. Here's the thing: She knows that I like her, but she doesn't say anything to put an end to the chase.

She doesn't say "no" or "yes". She just lets it continue.

I still really like her.

Am I just wasting my time?? Should I continue or not??

Are you really love her or only feel have some common with her ? maybe you consider love is a simple thing , as a girl , I have the same feeling with her and it is difficult to recieve the love which from younger than me , especially the boy , I am older than my bf though only one age ,first I refuse him beacuse of his persistent and move , at last I agree him and together with her .
she is older than you 5 ages , if me , I cant recieve though she love you , people often say 'age is not the problem ' , but it is decided by different people .
If you really love her and she also like you , you must take the chance to move her and solve her block about mind and heart by your action , hope to get your good news and good luck !