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and it really pisses me off. it bothers me that she flirts with other guys in front of me when im right there, im all hers to flirt with! she says im being stupid and tells me to stop being jealous. she says she cares about me and wants to be with me and all that but if she does then why does she need to flirt with other guys in front of me? am i wrong? am i getting worked up about nothing?
No you are not getting work up for nothing. She sounds like she has very little respect for you....not a good start. What kind of relationship do you have? Is she very young?
we're both gonna be juniors in hs. lol sorry if ur not used to younger people on here. are there any hs posters here? anyway, we've been together for 4 months and she stops for a couple days then does it again then says sorry and stops again then a couple days later she does it again. she keeps telling me she cares about me and all that but i find it really hard to believe her. i woulda dumped her a long time ago but we're really close. we knew each other since 6th grade and basically started off as friends first. she was always a flirt though but i want her to change
We have many hs posters. I asked because it may change my answers depending on age. It may be an average thing to do when very young people flirt in front of their SO. Young people may not act the same when it comes to love/like.
If a 40 y/o did the same thing I would guess there are major issues going on. With highschoolers, it could possibly be the norm, who knows. I don't take those relationships too seriously.
Ok, i have a buddy who was in a similar position at ur age (bout 4 yrs ago for myself), anyways she was a really nice person and all, wouldnt do anything with other ppl but had a bad habit of sometimes flirting in front of him which was messed up. Now she doesn't really do it anymore, but it wasn't a result of him asking her to stop or anything like that, after they broke up after high school she just took a big step maturity wise and cut it out.Quote:
Originally Posted by help! [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
She could change, but its up to you to make it happen.
how do i make her stop WITHOUT us breaking up? i already talked to her about it. she would stop for awhile and then start up again. id talk to her about it again and she would stop for awhile and then start up again. this just keeps going on and on like a cycle. how do i make her stop completely? she's not just an average girl. she's really caring and all that, she's just naturally a flirt. she's been a flirt way back when it's just part of her personalityQuote:
Originally Posted by all alone [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I was going to say that she will probably grow out of it but then I noticed that you stated it's a part of her personality. If that is so, you must decide whether you can deal with this or leave. That is a character issue of hers and that can NOT be changed without considerably effort on her part. As you can see from observing her, it's not easy to do. She may still grow out of this trait but are you willing to wait and take that risk?
well she DOES stop for awhile so i know shes trying. i guess it bothers me because im scared she'll start to like some other guy. i know i know, this is a high school relationship and most of them don't last but it still hurts u know?Quote:
Originally Posted by lesa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Sometimes the worst thing about dating in high school is the knowledge that most high school relationships don't last. And yes, it still hurts. Your emotions are involved, so it's only natural.
She keeps blatantly flirting even though she knows it bothers you. This means you need to either put up with it, or break up with her. Consider that there are lots of other girls out there who WON'T do this to you. She should be worried about you leaving her, not the other way around.
There's probably only so much you can put up with, right? I imagine that you will grow tired of it and break up with her if she continues. She'll soon realize this is a quick way to lose her boyfriends.
IMO it's a normal teenie issue,not a part of her personality... She will grow out of it at age 18 or 19.If she still be so then,THEN You can say it's a part of her personality ;) I've talked with my friend today about teenies (her sister is at this point now ;) ) and she said,that her sister has a "men radar". Don't worry, if she breaks up Your heart You won't die of it.And I'm sure You will find better girl after.It's just meant to be so :)
Better now than after 5 years.Imagine, Your world would circle around her and she would say "Sorry I love someone else".That would hurt .I know it.My bf has had something like this,and it's really hard to proove that it's worth to belive in someone else.
But belive me, it will be good :) You can talk to her,and say that You were talking about this and You know she's trying but after she does the same,and if she do that again You will leave her.It may works ;)
f*ck no you're not wrong... control your woman or she'll control you as she is doing now.
raverboy
Usually it's insecure girls who do this...they need constant reaffirmation that they're attractive...it's not necessarily a personal thing (ie you). If she refuses to see your point of view then go off and do your own thing while she is flirting. She will soon notice your absence.
It's apparent its in her nature to flirt with other guys while in a relationship. It may not be out of spite, or it may, but it is affecting you and if you feel this chick is worth the crap then its your decision to stick around and deal with it. But if it bothers you that much then you need to slowly let go. Since she is flirting with other guys, I dont see anything wrong in getting to know other girls that are your classmates or whatever and see if in the end it is still worth sticking around. I personally wouldnt be there if thats what she was to be doing cuz I would feel like she doesnt respect me.
It's a respect thing...granted at your young age too, girls LOVE attention.
My ex- did this to me during college. She wouldn't blatantly flirt, but she would dance with some male friends at her sorority formals and then claimed that she danced with them because I wasn't around.
I wasn't around because I got pissed when I first saw it and walked off! :mad:
Ask her if she liked if you did the same behavior she did with her around. I guarantee she would probably say "No." and if she doesn't, she probably doesn't truly care for you like you do her.
I completely agree. Girls in highschool usually are very insecure about their looks and how attractive they are. Flirting with other guys is their way of reassuring themselves they are. It is an immature thing to do.Quote:
Originally Posted by jenilicious [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Like others have said, it's part of her personality, she isn't going to change. The only thing that's going to change her is her growing up or a major event like getting dumped.
Your choices are deal with it or dump her. My ex was like this, she would say she would stop. Which lasted about a month...then back to her old ways. It was very upsetting, and now that I look back on it, it really screwed over my self esteem and confidence as well.
Needless to say she was also cheating on me. :tough: