Girlfriend vs girl-friend...mamma mia

Hi everybody.

I'm not really sure where to start, because this is going to be a looooong one :P

OK, some history maybe. I have a girlfriend for 5 years now and everything is fine and dandy.

The beginning however, marked me forever...
I had a girlfriend before her and while the things were kinda OK, I started losing feelings for her...it just wasn't "all that". So I got to know another girl (not intentionaly), which was strictly a friend at the beginning. With time going by we grew closer and closer (I was stil with the other girl), but we never had anything (sex, kisses...etc). We were just connected. So, after sometime, I came clean with my "real" girlfriend and we broke up (again, I didn't cheat!).

So OK, I was an idiot, because I know now that I probably should've break up with my gf sooner, even though nothing happened with the new girl.

But OK, this is just a prelude, so don't go jumping on me about being a jer*, because that's not the main story here.

Now the history is behind, here's the present:

I got a new co-worker (girl of course) and we're getting along extreeeeemly OK. She has a boyfriend and she's happy and I have a girlfriend and I'm happy.
The problem here is this: I'm afraid. Judging by the way things are progressing, the relationship is turning into friendship, not just co-workers. So I'm afraid of what might become of this :(

I mean, I'm afraid of myself...I love my GF profoundly...I'm scared if the history repeats itself :(
I lost my faith in myself of having female friends (new ones, the old friendships are steady).

I don't have any doubts about my GF, I love her and she's the one! But...can I trust myself? :(

What do you think?

A.

Fiasco,
I don't think you're a jerk. Relationships get tested in this way all the time. You have free will in the matter though. If you are hanging out with this coworker, just try and remember how stupid, heartless, and selfish it would be to cheat on your girlfriend with her. You have the ultimate control over your actions as well as the thoughts you choose to entertain.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by starbuck [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Just try and remember how stupid, heartless, and selfish it would be to cheat on your girlfriend with her. You have the ultimate control over your actions as well as the thoughts you choose to entertain.

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There's no real danger of cheating or anything, since she's totally in love with her BF.

And I would never cheat for that matter. I'm just afraid my emotions would run in a dangerous dirrections and I don't want them to. To be honest I don't know why am I even bothering with this, I feel like I'm making a fuss out of nothing...it's just that history doesn't leave me be...I'm stil having guilty feelings from the past and maybe that's the reason.

Another problem is that I spend 8 hours per day with my co-worker, while I see my GF only for like 2hours (we have opposite working schedules at the moment - that will change in december).

In poor words, I want her as a friend...a good friend, one of those friendships that are forever and are deep (and thinkgs are looking in the right dirrection), but I'm afraid of it...

A.

You have to learn to control your emotions. Do you fall for girls that easily? If so, then you are setting yourself up for another failed relationship. If its so hard for you, whenever things seem to get out of hand with you guys' conversations, just think about your girlfriend and remind yourself how much you love her. You have to start controlling your emotions now.

Oh, and I don't think you're a jerk, we all develop crushes within relationships, sometimes because the person is there when you are feeling down and they pick you up and put a smile on your face.

But really, if you really love your current gf, you have to do everything you got to do to make sure you don't screw things up. Nothing is wrong with having the other girl's friendship, but you must make sure you don't push it further than just a friendship.