Girlfriend barely show me affection or will open up to me 4 months in!

She royally pissed me off this weekend and I just left. We only see each other on weekends due to a 100 mile distance. She tells me how she isn't where she wants to be in her life and she has all this work related stress which I believe because her boss is abusive and makes her work overtime alot. But that doesn't mean she should be completely distant and cold with me. So on Sunday morning she was almost ignoring me so I just told her that if she's gonna be like this then I'm going.
This happened about a month ago as well and just now this weekend too. And it's funny cuz I don't wanna just write this off as PMS but she is a week away from her period and last time was as well. This weekend she was just all distant and unaffectionate with me. She hasn't opened up to me much so far and I guess it's still early but there are times when she's just plain shut off to me. And then the next weekend is all smiles and happy.
So I called her on it again. I said that I'm tired of giving and giving and her taking. That I give her my love, affection, sex, money, time and trust and she takes it but when she is expected to return all that (except sex we have great sex lol) she just backs up and closes off. Scared to get attached? She was the one who asked me to be her boyfriend to begin with though!
Last time I called her on it a month ago I was pissed at her all week and on monday she talked to me like "hey..." and by the time friday rolled around it was "heyyyy baby! i cant wait to see you!" and I have a feeling this will happen again.
And almost feels like a mix of work stress with PMS lol. WTF am I supposed to do with this girl!? If it happens again I will be forced to break up with her cuz this is unfair bull!

Also it's weird but she seems to be more affectionate and sweet to me when we chat on aim. Like it's easier for her to get it out that way. But in person she is less affectionate, not completely though. She will always hold my hand and cuddle to me n stuff but never actually show that affectionate EMOTION to me. Yet seems very attracted and happy with me though! WTF!?

If you know it's PMS, then what are you expecting? She feels like crap. Get over yourself. If you know it's that time of the month, do as generations and generations of men have done before you: make other plans.

Well I'm not sure if it is. She keeps telling me that PMS doesn't affect her moods ever. But I mean most girls say that anyway lol. So I really dont know if it really is. I know the work stress is there and isn't fictional. But I don't know for sure if it is. I just duno why she seems happy with me yet has difficulty opening up to me emotionally!

And it's difficult to make other plans as we only see each other like 1-2 days a week. So when the weekend comes up if I don't see her then we are 2 weeks apart! It's not easy.

Many younger girls don't realize they have PMS (and I don't suggest you point it out). Mark the dates on the calendar when you think she's been more outrageous than usual, and look for a pattern. You don't even need to tell her you are doing this. If there is a measureable pattern, you can be sure her problem is hormonal and will go away in a day or two. She may have mood swings during ovulation and/or in the time period before she starts bleeding.

And sorry, but mother nature doesn't care about your weekend plans. :D

Younger girls lol. I am 22 and SHE IS 25. She's 3 years older than me. Which makes more sense that she doesn't fall head of heels for a guy in a heartbeat like a younger girl would. But at 4 months I expect a little more from her especially since I am giving her alot. I know she cares about me, and wants me. Otherwise she wouldn't call me everyday and want to see me every weekend.

Should I just back off from her? Should I just treat her how she treats me and see what happens? I don't feel it's fair to continue treating her so well if she takes advantage of it and doesn't appreciate it in return!

WTF??

You want to treat her badly because her hormones are screwed up and she feels like crap?

uuuhhhh... okay. Let's see how that goes over.

No that's not it. Let's step off that PMS subject. I mentioned it because it was a possibility. She claims her mood isn't affected by it at all. But I mean in GENERAL all the time she isn't very affectionate and emotional with me yet is happy and playful with me, but never takes us seriously. But from time to time it feels like she completely shuts off and is distant with me. And then back to happy yet distant. That's the real issue. And I dont know if its PMS related though. It's just something I threw out there.
So I'm saying that I dont feel it's fair to be so affection and caring with her if she wont do it back. And I dont want to treat her BADLY I just was wondering if I should drop it down a notch and be less affectionate to her and see how she reacts to it. Because I do NOT want to give so much more to her than she does to me like this. It's not just.

I don't understand... what SPECIFICALLY do you want? More hand-holding? More kissing? More sex? What?

She just doesn't show alot of appreciation for me. She takes my presence for granted and she's even admitted to doing so to her former lovers. I show her that I care for her. I do special things for her. I compliment her. All that affection stuff.
I get very little of any of that in return. I know she likes me and wants me because of what I mentioned earlier, that she still talks to me alot and calls me everyday and wants to see me etc. But she doesn't show that when we are together very much. Because knowing that she wants me and having her actually SHOW it is different. She isnt romantic at all or loving in that way. And she doesn't really talk to me about her personal problems. I have to dig them out of her myself.
It just feels like she is purposely trying to not attach herself to me on that level in an attempt to not get hurt.

Honestly, most relationships have one emotional partner, and one less-emotional partner. It sounds like you are the emotional one, and she is less so. She may not have a need to be as expressive as you, and in fact may find it flat-out uncomfortable. You should probably consider whether what you are asking violates her personality type. She may not be able to give you what you want, and you will have to decide if you are willing to adjust your expectations.

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Originally Posted by shh! [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Honestly, most relationships have one emotional partner, and one less-emotional partner. It sounds like you are the emotional one, and she is less so. She may not have a need to be as expressive as you, and in fact may find it flat-out uncomfortable. You should probably consider whether what you are asking violates her personality type. She may not be able to give you what you want, and you will have to decide if you are willing to adjust your expectations.

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Well no thats the thing. She said she has always been a very VERY romantic person. But since her last 4 yr breakup and being single for 1.5 years she's kinda lost it she says. And the troubles with her work and other stress in her life isn't helping. So she straight up told me that the way she is behaving now has nothing to do with me personally its her own issues and that it isn't who she really is.
So what am I supposed to do? WAIT!? It's been 4 months! I mean I realize if she gets this new job she is interviewing for she will no longer feel that huge stress from her work enviornment. But should I just HOPE that it'll get better? Or readjust the way I behave towards her?

It's been 4 months since what?

She may have been "romantic" when she was a teenager, but honestly, a lot of people outgrow the need to be constantly romanced. Since she's older than you, I am guessing she has simply grown up a bit.

And no, I don't think you should wait around and see if she changes. I think you should accept her as is, or let her go if she isn't what you want.

It's been 4 months of our relationship, that we've been together. She keeps saying how this isn't how she really is or even wants to be. So I don't know what to expect. I don't want to adjust to her being this way and then have it change all of a sudden and then just be stuck with a different image of her. BLAH