My Broken Heart is bleeding...help
I came close to this sweet girl, who had problems getting over her last(first) love(actually a one sided love). But still we magically fell in love and became a happy coulple, she gave me my first kiss and vice versa. We had deep love and could not spend a minute without each other, we could not keep our hands off each other. This lasted for just 18 days.
Then one bad ugly day, I got jealous/suspicious that she still called her last love daily and felt very insecure about it.She said that she called him as a friend, because they were never really together. I asked her to tell him about us, but she was not comfortable. After that night she said that she informed him,but what followed was a blame game, where she blamed me for not trusting her, i blamed her for lying... then she said that she cannot be with me because it is not "right". She thinks that she never gave me a 100%.
She wants us to be "just friends", but i told her that we can never be just friends, that i will always love her. And she accepted it that she loved me too. I forced her to think about it several times.
Now she feels guilty about what she did with me. She feels that she saw me as her husband, but she should not have loved me as she still had feelings(although little) for the last one. I said its ok, and tried convincing her, begged to her to try again, tried to make her emotional, tried to request her. But she says that she loves me but "doesn't want to love me or be with me" She wants to be alone. But what about me..... i cannot live without her.
Now contrary to what the love pundits say, i have told her several times in the last few days (fight was 5 days back) that I love her and will always love her, and always wait for her. That she is my life and i can have noone but her. I feel that everytime i say this she gets upset, and wants me to forget her. I may have damaged my chances already.
To some extent i am sure that she loves me too, and its just that she doesn't want to be with me because of her psychological issues. She did mention in our argument that she will be happy to be my wife but she cannot be with me right now. But at the same time she also tells me that I can get better girls and bla bla.
Its really confusing and even more for me, as she is my first love. I cannot let her go out of my life. I need her so bad, what should i so?
She calls me daily and acts as she did somthing very wrong but doesn't want to talk about "us". We will have to see each other soon as we study in the same class.
What should i do? 1.act as i was last week(without kissing), 2.act sad, 3.ignore her completely, 4.insult her (make her feel bad)
Please help...Please do not post if u want to say, get over it, its over, forget her, find a new one etc.
Im not that type !! I can do anything for her. I dont want to do anything which kills our love. I dont want our love to fade away, but glow so much that she notices it, and comes running to me.
Pls reply soon.....
PS: Could PMS be playing the devil here?? She would be bleeding in the next 2-3 days. Although she didn't have them so bad last month.