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What do you guys think?
Is kissing on the first date appropriate?
Or should you always wait for the 2nd, maybe 3rd?
Do you guys have rules for when you think you should kiss?
-Personally, I don't kiss on the first date! I wait 'til the third if it even gets to that! I hate when guys go for it on the first date, such a turn off!
I think clear cut dating rules are kind of silly. If the mood is right, go for it. Otherwise wait.
The first date is when you don't even know the other person yet.. You're just getting to know each other.. It's just a casual get-together to talk and get more comfortable and familiar with one another..Quote:
Originally Posted by blondeee [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
If it happens that the first date goes on for quite a while.., and you really hit it off.., and that does happen sometimes.., then fine..
You have to ask yourself what would motivate you to kiss the other person.. Attraction.., comfort.., connection.. It's very rare you get to feel all those on the first date with someone.., but it can happen..
The "first date" isn't the boundary.. It's the level of comfort & connection that sets the boundary of when it feels right to kiss.. Once that threshold hits.., it's hard to get out of a lip-lock with that person.., But it generally does take some time.., especially when you're younger.., less experienced.., and more nervous..
Guy's opinion? We don't need "first/second/third date" boundaries to protect ourselves from feeling "cheap, desperate, or easy"..Quote:
Originally Posted by blondeee [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
It's appropriate when it feels right..
It's not appropriate when it's only attraction-driven.. "omg.., he's so cute/hot!"
You know.., for a gender that prides itself on social intuition.., you sure do rely heavily on arbitrary clear-cut rules..Quote:
Originally Posted by blondeee [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
If you meet a guy and the attraction is just not there yet.., or you don't feel comfortable enough yet.., or you just don't feel that connection there yet.., it doesn't matter if it's the 3rd or 4th or 5th date.., what are you going to do? Force yourself to kiss him because it's the 3rd date?
Alternatively.., when you're with someone and the attraction.., comfort.., and connection is all there.., and you can't help but want to kiss him.., then it doesn't matter if it's the 1st.., 2nd.., or 3rd date.., what is really causing you to hold yourself back? (cough cough.., you have these arbitrary rules in your mind.., that's what.., and because you feel they hold some weight.., straying away from them makes you feel guilty.., bad.., so you hold back from doing what you want to do.. that's why)
When we feel like it..Quote:
Originally Posted by blondeee [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Warning: I would have to comfortably say that nearly half of all guys in the population only have one criterion for when they feel like it.. "attraction".. This is why it's important for you to determine who you feel comfortable with..
However.., imagine meeting a really cute guy.., you guys just click.., everything is there.., and he feels the attraction.., the comfort.., and that connection with you.. And you do too.., but you stop yourself because "you feel you have to.., it's the right thing to do.., etc".. What message are you sending to him? How does he feel? Does he have reason to think you feel the same way about him? Or does he feel that you're not exactly that interested?
Unfortunately for you.., there are girls who play games.., and no guy wants to be played.., so that's usually all it takes to make his interest "poof" go away as he gets the wrong idea about you..
Coming from me.., I don't usually kiss on the first date either.., "usually".. Most of the time.., the connection is just not there yet.., I don't even really know the other person at all.. It would be a meaningless kiss.., it would be rushed.., and for no good reason..Quote:
Originally Posted by blondeee [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
But if things aren't progressing by the 2nd date.., I take a step back and ask myself..
1. Is that connection just not there.., and will it ever be there?
2. Are you (the guy) just taking things too slow?
3. Is she just very shy or ultra-conservative?
4. Is she just wasting my time & playing games?
5. Was that a pimple or a herpes outbreak on her face? (j/k)
EDIT: In case you didn't know.., guys don't have the same "cheap, desperate, easy, slut, whore" complex.. If they don't kiss on the first date.., it's not because they feel like bad people.., it's because they don't feel like it yet (or they do.., but they're just shy).. Aside from that.., guys are uninhibited and free to do whatever they feel like doing without feeling bad about it..
Best,
GrkScorp
I've never understood this question. If you feel a connection, do. If you don't or you're not comfortable, then don't. Seriously, why is kissing such a big deal? You can't make a clear set of rules.
"I never kiss on the first date!"
Uh, why not? What if you really were attracted to them? Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally? What if they feel the same way? Why wait until the second date? Or the third? To feel more pious? Pfft, please.
Well, I'll elaborate I guess for you Cherri,
I guess a kiss is more intimate for me than it is for you. It was a general question, for a discussion.. just wondering your guys' opinion on things. I personally find that if I go on a first date with a guy, it's just to get to know each other.. and by the 2nd or 3rd date, if things are advancing, then it would be nice to kiss. This is just my opinion..I don't beleive you can be REALLY attracted to someone emotionally and mentally on the first date. Sure, you can find them totally awesome and you already click, but for me, I guess I like a little mystery, like what kind of kisser they are, ect.. It kind of makes you anticipate the next date that much more because it could happen. :)
it depends. If you sense that your partner likes you then you can kiss her. For sure she wont get mad at you.Quote:
Is kissing on the first date appropriate?
I have yet to date a girl I didn't kiss on the first date. (to me) If we don't kiss on the first date, we must not be that into each other.
most of us do it. period.
I think Cherry is right as what kiss actually denotes just have an example that i have found one new male friend so if i hug him that it makes that i am falling for him ;) no i am straight man & sure about it. in the same way kiss is not a very big deal in world nowadays.
honestly there's really no set rules. You just have to see if the time is right. Don't fight it if its meant to happen.