Those pictures are ruining me!

hi guys

ok this is gonna sound quite bad from my side and the other side too...!
but basically im married and i was chatting with this other guy online a year ago about my relationship with my husband like our sex life etc. after that i did something stupid one day and sent him some personal pictures of me and him (but mostly just me!). we had not spoken for a few months and suddenly now he sends me threatening emails saying he'll show it to my friends seince he does know them and possibly to my husband which i think he's bluffing about coz my husband will kick his butt and mine! i told him we shouldnt speak again but he carries on blackmailing me with the pictures and then i agreed ill chat to him online so long as they are clean and friendly conversations but i said that out of fear... everytime i speak to him, i fear what he has done and/or is going to do!
i hate myself for what i did and i wish i could turn back the hands of time but i cant! i dont no why i did it in the first place either...
what should i do...? ive been in deep depression for a year because of this and i dont no how to get out. all this because of exchanging those damned pictures within minutes and now my life is ruined. when i think back at what i did, i feel more sorry for my husband and i really love him, i dont want to lose him and i wouldnt no how to give an explanation into what happened :upset:
can anyone suggest anything for me...? anything at all?

You say this happened a while back... perhaps because of the time lapse, your husband will be able to forgive you. You should tell him. Maybe getting a therapist involved when you tell him would help.

Oh, and getting rid of your computer will probably go a long way in helping your husband to trust you again.

^^^ I agree with shh.
You have to tell your husband about it.
Tell everything about this and why he
has the copy of your pictures.

Why is the guy threatening to show the pictures? What is he trying to get you to do?

Make an archive of the chat from now on. Try to make that bad guy spill something to prove that he's threatening you. Then tell the truth to your husband. If you can, let your husband pretend to be you to chat with that guy, your husband will believe what you tell him more.

Does he send you emails?

If so you can get his IP address and go to the police. This is a form of harrassment and should not be taken lightly.

You broke the Prime Directive: pics + broken anonymity.

For that matter, don't EVER post anything to the internet you aren't prepared to have come back & bite you in the ass. Its not as secure as you think.

Tell your husband. People have done stupider things and been forgiven.

ok, here is my solution, its different and perhaps a little sneaky!!!

stop speaking to the guy!! let him make his threats and tell your husband.

tell your husband you have been on a relationship advice website and you had been chatting to what you thought was WOMAN privately via email or some kind of messenger about some of your problems. Say that your conversations had got a little heated and because of your problems you were thinking of way to heat your relationship back up and a 3 some seemed like it might get things going and she seemed interested!!!! most men wouldnt mind the thought of their wife trying to get another woman involved!!!! tell him that obviously you gave her lots of personal info and now your getting these strange messages from some1 that has all this info about u!!!

as ur a woman, just lie lie lie!!! obviously its not the right thing to do but the important thing is your relationship, not your conscience.

its just an idea...............

Something doesn't sound right. Why would you link your friends with an online buddy that you've only known for a short time? Why did you trust him like that? Just ignore him. Don't respond to his threats and accept the consequence if he ever carries them out. Don't go into depression over something like this. Are you running for some kind of public office position? Let it go. Stop the contact at this very moment.

I'm with Lesa. This doesn't make any sense at all. Why would you connect him with your friends? Why did you have so much trust in a stranger to talk about your sex life with your husband? Better yet... why wasn't conversation just enough? Why did you send him pictures? Bizarre eh?

i think that although you may've taken the pics and it may not have been the smartest move, now's not the time to be placing blame or judging you really. You want advice, right?

Look, what happened happened and it can't be changed. We all make mistakes and no one's perfect.

i think you should tell your husband because at the end of the day, he is your husband and regardless of the circumstances and the past, he should still listen and be able to sort this out with you. That's what marriage is about, right?

If your husband is angry when you do tell him, allow him time to calm down but tell him how much you love him. If anything, show him this forum so he can see how much you care because you've told us you love him. Assure him of your love. Like someone said, some people have done alot stuider things.

Try any and everything. Get your husband to tell this guy to stay clear of you before you report him. Then he should back off.

Best of luck.xxxxx

Go to the police. im pretty sure theres a law protecting you from these things.

thank you all for your replies
i have spoken to my husband now and we are getting by this. the other guy has also sed he has deleted the pix and will get out of our lifes forever and is sorry and ashamed!
now i feel like i can breath finally in years. the fact that my husband knows what happened and has forgiven me is exactly what i wanted and im happy we can look beyond this stupid mess i created!
thank you again for your kind suggestions... i dont think i could have done this without you all :)

You're welcome, now do you mind sending me the pics??

ROFL! Shit Zilla! You made me choke on my Fruit Punch!!