The story of my life, help me win her back. (Very long).
Hello everyone!
I'm 28 y/o software developer from Sweden and I really need your help to get back together with my ex.
Here's my story:
I was only 21 and she was 25 y/o when we met through a summer job. We were both students and lived in different cities approximately 200 miles apart, so she wanted to end our relationship after the summer. I convinced her no to do that and I promised her that I would come and visit her every other weekend. And I did, I had a crappy old car that I drove to her every other weekend for one and a half year. When she was done with her studies she moved in with me in my small 1 room apartment (only 25 m2).
We lived there for about three years, during these years I never managed to get my degree and I only got jobs that payed minimum wages. We never had any money, so my parents had to help us out every month. Still I did everything that I could to keep her happy. And I believe that she was happy. She proposed to me a few times, but I thought that I was too young and I knew that I could not afford to buy her a ring. So even though I knew that she was the one I was going to marry, I had to turn her down and every time I promised her that I would marry her in a few years when I had managed to get my life in order (job, economy and so on).
One day she got fired from her job so we both decided that we would move to a bigger town and start over and build a new better life. So we moved and got new jobs. We were still poor and after six months I got over stressed and became depressed. She left me shortly there after. She changed her number, MSN, email address and left me with no means to get in touch with her. We had been a couple for about 5 years at that point.
After 2 months I sent a letter to her parents asking them to pass it on to her. In that letter I told her how much I loved her and asked her to come back. She wrote back and said no, that I couldn't give her the life she wanted. I wrote back in desperation and begged her to come back. The response I received was very cruel.
I was knocked out for six months and had to move back in with my parents. I started taking some courses and finally got my degree. I got a job as a software developer who pays well, I started to exercise on a regular basis and managed to turn my life around. I was making more money than I had ever had before and things were falling in place.
After one year I had bought a house and something that I always wanted but couldn't afford, a brand new BMW. I had always thought that the day that I would buy my first new BMW would be a very happy day in my life.
I drove around for a while, but I couldn't keep my self from crying. I was lonely, I wanted to share the joy of having a nice car with her. I still missed her. All of the things that I had achieved seemed pointless if I couldn't share it with her.
Once again I wrote her a letter, I told her that I missed her company and I told her about all the things that had happened in my life, the degree, new job, new house, new car. I told her about all the new tricks that "our" dog had learned. And I told her how much she meant to me and that I wanted us to be friends. I asked her to write back and tell me about her life. I received a letter where she told me that I needed to get help.
That made me very sad and angry, so I packed all the gifts, pictures, love letters etc that she had given me over the years in a big box and gave it to her parents. I gave her back every thing that she had given me (except the dog).
I few weeks later I received a letter from her. She thanked me for giving her the stuff and said that I was very important to her. That coming over me was the hardest thing she had ever done in her life. She also said that she felt very sad about how wrong things have gone between us since the break up. That I was one of the kindest people that she had met and that she wished me all the best.
My response to her was both angry and cruel. After that she emailed me, saying that she would meet me and offered me a chance to talk things through. It's now almost 2 years since we broke up.
We couldn't agree on the terms on how we would talk, she wants to have a third party present. I want to talk to her in private. Things stalled for a few weeks. So one day I emailed her and asked her to call me. She called and we talked for 3 hours and we decided to talk again. We have talked a few times over the phone but we still haven't had the talk about us breaking up.
I still love her very much and I know that she is the one that I want to spend my life with. But it feels like that she tries so hard to keep her distance, not to come too close. Why??? I just want to make her happy, I want to give her all the things that I promised her before but couldn't afford. I want to take her to concerts, travel and do all the other things that we said that we would do but never got the chance to do.
How do I proceed? How do I ask for a second chance without scaring her off? Why is she trying so hard to keep a distance?
Any tips are greatly appreciated.
/Alter Ego
