The Past

Hello everyone. I dated my boyfriend for 7 months. I met him thought a very close friend of mine. I am 18 and he is 24. I met my boyfriend and this girl he is very close with at the same time. My boyfriend, that girl and my close friend were friends for at least 2 years before i came in the picture. The 4 of us became very good friends and hungout all the time. My boyfriend and I eventually started a relationship. When we first started dating, i was very jealous that the girl and my boyfriend are always together. They hangout everyday and i wasnt able to because i live 40 mins away. He makes sure that everything in her life is perfect and is always there for her. He treated her better than me.

My boyfriend and i broke up a few time due to my jealousy and some other problems he had with me. For example, he believes i m too young and i m a brat(which is true). Two months ago, in a fight, he admitted that he confessed to her indirectly about his love for her. We were apparently broken up by then (our break ups last a day or two..the longest one was 2 weeks). He convinced me that i am his only one and even if she said yes to his confession he wouldnt be with her because he knew it was feelings that would jus go away. He even told me that because i said he likes her that made him think maybe he does.

After that incident, i still stayed with him because he convinced me that he really does like me. I can see the changes in him and now he does try very hard to treat me very well. I trusted him when we first started dating. I use to yell at myself for being jealous because i know they were always like that before i came in the picture. Now, i know the first 3 months of our relationship was all lie. He liked 2 girls at once and cared about another girl more.

I cant get over the fact he treated me this way. No matter what he does, i always think about the past. I feel as tho he is jus trying to like me because i am good to him. I am always there for him and tries my best to make his life perfect. We apologized so many times. he said in a txt message, "baby, im sorry. i like u A LOT. i care about u a lot..im growing into you. dont be scared..im not leaving you." We fight at least once a week because i would bring up the past. He told me to stop thinkin about the past because at this moment, he doesnt care about her the same way anymore and i am his one and only. He understands that its hard to let go of the past, but he feels as tho i am always trying to think about the past and not give him another chance. Me and that girl are also very close. I see her everyday because we go to the same college together. She knows the sitution between me and him however, we both agreed that our friendship is more important. She also said that she never liked him more than a brother instead.

I just cant get over the past. I really do like my boyfriend and i do see him changing. He really does show me he likes me because i dont kno if it is a lie again. When damage is done..i'll always feel it. I dont kno what to do?? I dont kno what to believe? Should i believe my boyfriend? Does he really care about me like that way he says he does?

Even though "...dont be scared..im not leaving you." sounds kind of bossy to me and I could imagine something with more love, you should leave the past behind. My fiancee has similar tendencies for less then that, but is slowly learning, that past should be left behind. Otherwise you will ruin the relationship for no good cause. He is making it clear that YOU are the one he wants to spend his life with and SHE is a close friend, like a sister. Try to live with it as it is and see that you will receive more love from him.

I dont want to fight anymore, but knowing he did like her for a week. It just kills me. He said he was confused, but how can he tell me he had feeling for her while he end up coming back to me. Make me feeling as tho i m a replacement. I know i must trust him..but is just so hard.