Boyfriend still talks to his ex
Hi everyone! I'm new here.
So anyway... I'm in the ever-so-common situation of having a boyfriend who still talks to his ex. It's bothering me, so I'm hoping to get a little insight on it.
I just found out yesterday that he still keeps in contact with his ex and hides it from me. I did something bad - I snooped through his email (I know, I know - I shouldn't have done it, but...) and found some messages to and from his ex.
Here's the story between them: She's from Russia. They met a few summers ago here in the states, dated, and then broke up in the fall after she went back home. I met him the spring after, and now we've been together for a year and a half. He's talked a little about her, but not that much. She has now moved here to the states since several months ago, but lives halfway across the country right now.
Yesterday I saw that they have sent each other emails asking how thing are going, how's life, etc, and in hers she's mentioned several times that maybe they could visit again sometime [with a ;) symbol, no less! lol.] He's also asked her if she's coming anywhere near our state, and yeah maybe they could see each other some time (though maybe he was just being polite and answering her question?). She was also asking if she could use him as an emergency contact (but I'm wondering why someone would do that if they live that far away?).
This is really bothering me! I know I'm probably over reacting, but I need to figure out how to bring up the issue of his ex with him. What really bothers me is that throughout their emails, (including one over a year ago, before these other emails, saying he just wants to be friends), he's never told her anything like, "Hey, just so you know, I DO have a girlfriend." You'd think in all their messages asking how life is, what have you been up to, etc he'd mention that fact? Obviously he doesn't want to throw it in her face, but I think she really should know.
I need to calm down and figure out how to carefully bring this up to talk to him about it. He hasn't given me a reason not to trust him, and I know I'm being insecure (hey, I've got other problems too), but I have to know! What do I do here?
