starting something

OK so there's this guy. I've known him for about a year an a half, we got to know each other slowly and it took maybe a year before I would actually call him a friend.

About a month ago we were at a party, it was really late and we were dancing. This was when I first started to think i liked him more than as a friend. We kept dancing song after song without it being weird or feeling the need to ask. When people were too tired to dance we all sat around chatting and I sat next to him and we were sort of absentmindedly touching eachothers hands and arms, and at some point we looked at each other and just smiled...

To the point is that we're all dancers, so physical contact isn't always such a big deal. I don't mean we sleep around randomly but simply that when you spend a large part of your free time dancing, with the holding hands and being quite close, it feels natural and you’ll often see people hugging or just being cozy together in mostly completely non-sexual ways.

Anyway, with this guy I thought I felt a connection, and I wanted to find out whether I was imagining it or whether there might actually be something there. He’s not here during the weeks, but I saw him the weekend after, at a dance weekend. Again we danced, we chatted, it was nice.

After that we texted a bit and when he came back here last weekend I asked him for coffee. We ended up going to the theatre (his idea), then to a bar for a quite drink, then to his place. We kissed rather a lot this evening, interspersed with lots and lots of talking and just being close and drinking tea. I stayed the night, but no sex. Not much sleep though.

In the morning, still in bed, we talk about us and relationships and stuff, and he says he’s ”pretty much off the market” as he’s just got out of a 2 year relationship and he doesn’t want to do that again. He asked me how I felt about short-term relationships and I said I don’t know, but I don’t really do them. He also said something along the lines of ”would it complicate things terribly if we had sex?”. This made me laugh but I said yes, because i know myself.

I can tell he doesn’t want to screw up the friendship and neither do i, but i also can’t see how we can deny the attraction that’s there. I’m not saying I want committment straight away, but i don’t want to enter into something that is definately a dead end and most definately will screw up the friendship. And i also don’t just want to be someone he screws around with now that he’s single.

To the point is he’s been texting me quite frequently since. I text back most of the time, but they’re always initiated by him, about how he wants to see me, wishes he was still here and now doesn’t really want to leave town anymore (he’s been planning to move) or just jokes and random questions.

What does he want? What should I do? How do I handle the situation? Ideally what i want is to just keep going and see how it progresses and how we feel, but i don’t want him to one day just shut the door in my face with the words ”i told you i didn’t want a relationship”…

Advice appreciated… :)

Ailora