What is the best way to clear recurrent memories of an ex?
My ex and I of 3 years broke up 3 months ago. The relationship was on and off again during this time - a majority of the time we were not official but spent every day together for 5+ hours. We had the same interactions that people in a relationship had (Sex, emotions, and time together) She loved me for a time (Or so I think) and I still love her. The breakup was mutual.
Basically, this relationship was very toxic (especially after the first year) and I was constantly insulted, berated, and devalued. She was very manipulative and in her own words can "get what she wants.". The more I forgave, the worse it got. We were constantly in arguments and I was constantly hurting. It seriously effected my physical/mental health, academics, friends, and savings. Most of my friends and all of my family either hate her or dislike her based on her actions towards me and her actions towards them. Despite all this we tried multiple times to reconcile and it never worked out.
We did have good times and I really loved/love this girl. Despite her tendencies to be emotionally abusive, she stuck with me through my difficult times and I stuck through with hers. The passion and pain from after the first few months of the breakup (I was a complete wreck) has since faded.
Anyways, I was able to step out of the mindset that things would never work out and she would never change or that we would get back together. She immediately found someone else after our breaking up. I have also accepted that she was not great to me (Although she has since a handful of times tried to contact me in which I have not responded) and that I don't want to ever get back together with her no matter what my emotions tell me. I realize that I was showing symptoms of a co-dependent by staying in this relationship for so long.
My question is how do you stop having memories over and over about this person and continually thinking about her (In a negative or positive way)? I cannot help but think about her a majority of the time, and at times it is in a way where I resent what she has done to me but at other times I miss her (Lately, It is more of the former). I thought that 3 months would be a long enough time to really be able to not think about her on a continual basis but I have been having trouble getting her off my mind. I am over the relationship, but I just cannot get these images of her from flooding to my mind (IE - resentment, how she is doing, etc). Sorry this was kind of long. Any advice?
