A very interesting and complicated yet almost movie like break up- thoughts wanted

This is the story of my ex and i breaking up however with still so much left and possibilities left open. I'm sorry as it may be long but i believe that it would be an interesting read.


5 weeks ago i broke up with my ex girlfriend of 19 months. We are both 19 and we are freshmen in college attending a branch campus and then moving up to the main campus 2 years from now. We were each others first true love. She had been in a 21 month relationship before but at her age, she of coarse never felt like she wanted to be together with him forever.

I came right after him and was kind of like her rebound but not really because she had been over him for a while and couldn't really see herself with him anymore. We casually dated for a few months until we were each others first time for intercourse and things got much more emotional of coarse. We had many ups and downs and speed bumps in the road but we both wanted it so bad so we always persevered and it got better. A big issue was always porn. She felt like i used porn because she was not good enough and that wasn't the case. I was 95% committed to that relationship after we broke up i realized. The 5% i didn't give was the porn i didn't give up until 1 month before we broke up. By that time though it had hurt her so much and she had insecurities that i instilled such as Asian women and just how much porn hurt her.

We actually broke up because once we got to college the crowd kind of started irritating me how they were with her. She has many many guy friends but is the most trustworthy women in the world and i always trusted her...just not the other guys because twice in our 19 months 2 guys tried to steal her attention and love away from me because they were confused by her intentions of close friendship. There was a point where it irritated me so much i told her that "i dont want to be with anyone right now" and wanted to take a break. i don't know if that was true or just me saying that out of frustration. Actually it wasn't true because i pleaded telling her to let's try again.

Not a month after that though we were still iffy in college settings and she told me we should just be friends. She said she thought I couldn't really see myself with her anymore and wasn't doing anything to show it. We had never talked about marriage or anything really really long term.

A week after the break-up or so i went into a deep depression. my entire outlook changed and i pleaded with her to let me try again. For the next 4 weeks she would come over and we would sleep together and have sex for once or twice a week.

many many things that should have been said were now said and she could see how much i loved her and wanted to be with her. She said that at this point she realized that she now has too many insecurities to be with me any time soon and not only that she had attached herself to a guy friend who is 20 and had made her laugh and just feel better. She started liking this guy about a week after we broke up. I asked her if he asked her out would she say yes and she told me yea that she "needed it". He is a junior and will be graduating when she is moving away so therefore they won't probably be together. However i have locked text messages saying "I can see myself with you. I have always imagined how our lives would be, what our kids and house would look like.....i want those things but i need to jump over a few hurdles". This was sent to me only 3 days ago after a night she stayed over. She has promised me abstinence for 2 years and i matched that promise. She never breaks a promise, she never had and wont break this one. She is the one who offered this deal 2 weeks after we broke up because we both know being each others first, it would destroy our chances of one day being together again if either one of us had sex with someone else.

We officially stopped talking last night because she said "I initially come over and offer to hang out because i feel like im obligated to do so because you are in bad shape. However once i come over yea we have a good time and i just want to be with you."

We have agreed to cut all communication for a month or two to see if we can't be friends. We also are going to act like we don't have another chance later to be able to move on.

I laughed last night after it was all said and done because my intentions for the past 4 weeks have been just to plant the seed of us one day having another chance and me showing her how much more passionate i am. Everything we have promised and really said just is setting us up to be together again and to limit any long term realtionships in the next 2 years. I bought her a diamond ring for her to wear as a promise ring. She is going to wear it as long an abstinence promise.

I am going to give her space like we agreed and move on for now using my close friends as a crutch and casually dating if i can find a girl who doesn't want to have sex or have a serious relationship.

Any thoughts and criticisms would be greatly appreciated. There is still much more to this story but i didn't want to make it too long.

She is not dating this guy yet but they go on dates basically just havn't kissed or commited themselves to a relationship yet. He doesn't know and probably never will know we were having sex the whole time that she was telling him she wanted a relationship. She "needs" it to get over me for now. It's a rebound.

If you made it this far. Thanks foe reading