Hello, I’m new around here so go easy on me.
About two months ago I recently married my wonderful wife, this unfortunately caused a series of events that I thought was manageable but ultimately turned into a giant rat nest of problems that I can’t seem to make straight in my head. There are three major problems that happened:
The first problem started happening immediately after the wedding, she had taken on almost all of the responsibility of planning the wedding basically and poof it was over, but the depression from all the stress remained. She also seemed to be having some serious commitment issues dealing with the finality of marriage (she comes from a broken family). Although it was initially tough on me to hear that she had all these doubts I got over it, and I thought that it would blow over. This was the point we talked about maybe seeing a consoler.
The second problem we had happened two weeks after the marriage, a close friend of ours passed away from lung cancer of all thing.. he was in is mid 20s like us. This basically mixed things up emotionally for us and made it difficult to deal with problem #1.
The third problem, which has been making me question my sanity lately, happened about a week ago, we had been talking about how she was feeling depressed earlier that week but it seemed like she wasn’t telling me why, like she was holding something from me. Well I did something stupid.. when she went to work I got on her laptop and starting poking around, which I shouldn’t have done.. she had a password and didn’t think I knew it. I found images of her and another guy from her work at a park, she was very dressed up and it looked like images from a first casual date. They were taken while I was at work and she never told me about it. The worst part was her website history, she had gone to a lot of websites about infidelity and cheating and also websites explaining how to get an annulment to your marriage.
I confronted her about what I found, she got very defensive which is understandable since I just violated her privacy. She said she didn’t cheat on me and that she was going to the websites because she had been tempted to cheat and just wanted to read negative things about it. She won’t tell me any details, like what the date meant to her or what it was, was it a date? Is he just a friend? When I push for details she basically gets ultra defensive and says she doesn’t want to talk about it, and that she would talk about it with a marriage consoler present. We haven’t spoken very much the last week and we have a meeting with a therapist this Monday. This has been brewing for quite some time in my head.. I just keep picturing the guy and asking myself over and over ‘did she cheat on me?’
Sorry this is so long.. I tried to cut out as much as possible, I really don’t have anyone to talk to about this.
