Its been 3 months....

Its been 3 months since I told my ex I had enough and I was done with it all.

Long story short I broke up with her because she refused to limit or break contact with a guy from work that she liked. She broke up with me for a week over him before she came bawling back to me. I took her back, its water under the bridge....fast forward.

Unfortunately, I work with her, granted I don't see her very often it still causes an emotional rush. I know she still thinks about it to, I hear from people and see random things like a facebook status or something that pertains to it. She is actually the roommate of the guy mentioned above and they are inseparable but not dating or seeing each other. People at work always ask me if they are together and I simply say "I have no idea, I don't really care."

The only time I spoke to her since the break was when she texted me telling me she had crashed her car. I asked her if she was okay and whatnot, she said she was, just shaken up. She began a pity act or at least thats how I saw it, she said something to the affect of "whats wrong with me, why am I like this?". I hadn't answered any texts or calls previously and she asked why I answered this time. I told her she was a human being and that I would always be concerned if another person got hurt. She got really upset and said "so I am just another human being to you." I told her she was only upset because it wasn't what she wanted to hear," no matter how I felt I wasn't about to say "because I love you" or something like that. She started calling me heartless and what not, I told her goodbye and haven't spoke since.

I completely ignore her at work unless it pertains to the job, I make a point of not making eye contact. Every once in a while a group of us will be standing around talking and she will walk up and always ends up standing next to me. The group will all head their separate ways and she will stand there with me not saying anything, I just turn and walk off not even acknowledging her existence.

Why do I still feel so torn up inside? I did everything but leave the country to avoid having to talk or interact with her, why can't I just forget? Yes I love her, but at the same time I have a seething hatred for how she treated me....

let me guess, she's really really hot...

You won't forget her because you see her at work every day. If I were you, I'd look for another job, and don't date anyone from work again.

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Originally Posted by Cbrider [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Its been 3 months since I told my ex I had enough and I was done with it all.

Long story short I broke up with her because she refused to limit or break contact with a guy from work that she liked. She broke up with me for a week over him before she came bawling back to me. I took her back, its water under the bridge....fast forward.

Unfortunately, I work with her, granted I don't see her very often it still causes an emotional rush. I know she still thinks about it to, I hear from people and see random things like a facebook status or something that pertains to it. She is actually the roommate of the guy mentioned above and they are inseparable but not dating or seeing each other. People at work always ask me if they are together and I simply say "I have no idea, I don't really care."

The only time I spoke to her since the break was when she texted me telling me she had crashed her car. I asked her if she was okay and whatnot, she said she was, just shaken up. She began a pity act or at least thats how I saw it, she said something to the affect of "whats wrong with me, why am I like this?". I hadn't answered any texts or calls previously and she asked why I answered this time. I told her she was a human being and that I would always be concerned if another person got hurt. She got really upset and said "so I am just another human being to you." I told her she was only upset because it wasn't what she wanted to hear," no matter how I felt I wasn't about to say "because I love you" or something like that. She started calling me heartless and what not, I told her goodbye and haven't spoke since.

I completely ignore her at work unless it pertains to the job, I make a point of not making eye contact. Every once in a while a group of us will be standing around talking and she will walk up and always ends up standing next to me. The group will all head their separate ways and she will stand there with me not saying anything, I just turn and walk off not even acknowledging her existence.

Why do I still feel so torn up inside? I did everything but leave the country to avoid having to talk or interact with her, why can't I just forget? Yes I love her, but at the same time I have a seething hatred for how she treated me....

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Hatred is probably too strong an emotion for a selfish girl who is clueless about commitment, but ...

I highlighted a few things in your post because it's time for you to start switching from heartbroken to angry.

1) She was in a "committed" relationship with you;
2) She breaks up with you to be with a guy she's attracted to;
3) She moves in with the guy ... you MUST know that they have been together romantically and sexually;
4) She whines to you because you don't place her above basic human decency and concern when you should be canonized for not secretly wishing she had driven off a cliff!!! Yet the manipulative b***h calls YOU heartless??

Tell her NEVER to text you, call you, IM you, email you, carrier pigeon you, facebook you, myspace you again.

If she joins you when you are having a conversation with other co-workers, walk away. She is nothing to you but left over, misplaced emotions that you incorrectly describe as "Yes I love her." As a girlfriend, she is worse than worthless, she is toxic.

Carl.

Its hard to respond to this because it seems like pieces of the story are missing...like there may be more to it. Also, no offense to Carl but I think he is being a little extreme.

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Originally Posted by Betty [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Its hard to respond to this because it seems like pieces of the story are missing...like there may be more to it. Also, no offense to Carl but I think he is being a little extreme.

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The unabridged version is unfortunately slightly longer than the bible.

Anyway that said, I still haven't talked to her since we split, I just burn inside when I think about the shit she pulled. I went through a really rough spot for like 2 weeks and I seem to be getting back to even keel now.

I don't know but you're doing a good job by ignoring her. As Vashti said, look for another job if possible. Whenever she talks to you or stand next to you, just walk away. She's just doing coz you're not giving attention to her. The day you'll start giving her the attention, she'll not even bother to talk to you and you'll feel sad.

Stay away, all I can say.

Unfortunately I must agree with everyone else. Why did she come back to you that one time? Was it because it didn't work out with this other guy or was it because she realised what she'd thrown away in you? I don't know how she has the nerve to try and get you back after the way she treated you, she doesn't deserve another chance, especially as she's living with this other guy.

You need to get her out of your life once and for all. If you're still working together, neither of you are going to be able to move on with life so yes, you should look for another job. Good luck, I feel for you.

Well the reason I say that is because you say that she lives with this guy and it seems to me like it would really hard to break contact with someone you live with. Did she live there throughout your whole relationship? Also, just curious as to what kind of things she pulled. Did she cheat on you?

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Originally Posted by Cbrider [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

The unabridged version is unfortunately slightly longer than the bible.

Anyway that said, I still haven't talked to her since we split, I just burn inside when I think about the shit she pulled. I went through a really rough spot for like 2 weeks and I seem to be getting back to even keel now.

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How long were you two together?

3 months is not long at all for a decent length relationship. Carl was right on the money with his advice. You're still recovering, you need to let yourself be angry for a little while. It's a good thing to be angry after a bad breakup. It's bad when you never let go of that anger. Like I said 3 months is not enough time. Burn the old pictures, get rid of everything that reminds you of her, find somewhere alone and just yell, cry, and just get it out of your system...it helps. It seems like you have a lot bottled up in you because you don't want to be an asshole or show some sort of weakness towards her.

I was with my ex for a 1.5 years. It has taken me a lot longer than 3 months to recover, it's actually going to be 1 year since we broke up in a few weeks. 3 months I actually felt somewhat normal again, but was far from recovering. I'll be honest that even just seeing her when I have run into her and thinking about what happened hurts a little still. But I always have to remind myself of what she has done, and that I'm so much better off without her. I've noticed a lot of people after breaking up tend to forget why they broke up in the first place, myself included. Funny thing is when I confronted my ex about cheating on me, she wanted to get back together that moment.

I think the reason she's crawling back to you is because:

1. Things didn't workout with the other guy.
2. Guilt; she feels bad about what she did.
3. She's an immature nutcase with trouble committing.

Probably a combination of any of these three.

Like carl mentioned, break all contact. And like Vashti mentioned start looking for a new job and learn from this lesson. No more relationships at work.