How can I get her out of my head?

Hi everyone,

I know I havn't been here for quite a long time and things have changed since then but anyway...

There is this cashier I fell in love with. I can't get her out of my head for over a month. Everytime I see her I can't take my eyes off her.

Now the problem is she is Arab and I'm Jewish and my parents won't let me date an Arab woman. They say the mentality between Jews and Arabs is very different. My father says he hates Arabs because Arabs killed two of the sons of his cousin. My parents also say that she won't be allowed to date me too because of tradition: Arab women are only allowed to marry within their community and most fathers never allow them to have any relations with 'strangers'. A 'stranger' is someone from a different ethnic and religious group. Arab women keep their family tradition by only marrying Arab men who are intimately known to their family.

I'm feeling lost because I simply can't stop thinking about her and I can't imagine what my life would be like without her. I'm feeling like I'm never gonna be happy without her.

Where do you live?

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Originally Posted by carl1222 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Where do you live?

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I live in Haifa, Israel.

I told my parents (and especially my father) that I think they have a prejudice against Arabs and that not all Arabs are the same but they still insist, close their ears and don't let me date her. I told them that it's my choice to make who I date and not theirs. But my father is quite authoritarian. They keep telling me that if I want to date an Arab woman I will have to leave home, cut all contact with them and go somewhere else. My parents know how much I want to be with her but they still don't care. They don't wanna hear about it.

I'm feeling really lost because I can't stop thinking about her and I can't stop looking at her everytime I see her. I don't think I'll ever find someone like her. My psychologist told me that the only place where I could find someone like her is in different galaxy or in a different universe. She's so pretty to me. I don't know what to do with myself.

Her name is Areen and she looks 25. People say physical apperance doesn't matter but it does at least before you know the personality. The first time I saw her face I immediately got a crush on her. She is so beautiful to me. I don't think I'll ever find someone with a face like hers. She is Arab but her face reminds of something African or maybe even Latin. She could easily pass for a beautiful Latina.

The first time I saw her I had a crush on her and it's already 2 months that I can't get her out of my head. She's in my dreams as well. The problem is that my parents tell me that I can't be with her because she's Arab and I'm Jewish. That's why I haven't talked to her and told her that I have a crush on her and that I really want her. Maybe deep down I know that I can't be with her and should rather let it go.

The problem is I think it's already too late for me because I think she already got a boyfriend. She is a cashier and I think that all the times she takes a break and leaves the shopping center she is actually seeing someone. I also suspect that since I don't see her at work at afternoon that she may be dating someone at the time she's not working. That's why maybe she switched to mornings so that she could be dating afternoon.

The truth is I'm feeling quite lost.

Go find some girl to bang like a screen door in a hurricane. Basically, you're infatuated, and need something else to fixate on.

You seen Romeo and Juliet?! Living proof it can all work out! Forget what your parents say. It's your life, why the hell should they have a say in it? Tell them, the day they can live without eachother is the day you'll live without your girl.

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Originally Posted by Lost-Girl [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You seen Romeo and Juliet?! Living proof it can all work out! Forget what your parents say. It's your life, why the hell should they have a say in it? Tell them, the day they can live without eachother is the day you'll live without your girl.

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It can all work out, you mean the part where they ****ing kill themselves?

No offense, while there are occasionally exceptions to the rule. Having a relationship with lots of outside energy creating stress between you two usually makes things not work out at all. So, you may want to be the exception to the rule, but it isn't likely that you will be.

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Originally Posted by Lost-Girl [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You seen Romeo and Juliet?! Living proof it can all work out! Forget what your parents say. It's your life, why the hell should they have a say in it? Tell them, the day they can live without eachother is the day you'll live without your girl.

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True it's my life but I'm still living with and dependent on my parents. I can't go against my father. He will expel me from home. If I were living seperately from my parents in a different home then maybe then I could do what I want but the fact is I'm not financially self-dependent and I'm still living with them so I have to do what they wish or else my father says he will expel me from home and send me to live somewhere else.

My father says that if I want to date an Arab then I will have to cut all contact with him and move somewhere else with her because he won't allow an Arab into his house or have any contact with them.

Also Romeo and Juliet is not such a good example because despite being madly in love with each other they both ended up dead in the end, not being able to cope with outside forces from society.

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Originally Posted by Lite [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It can all work out, you mean the part where they ****ing kill themselves?

No offense, while there are occasionally exceptions to the rule. Having a relationship with lots of outside energy creating stress between you two usually makes things not work out at all. So, you may want to be the exception to the rule, but it isn't likely that you will be.

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So are you suggesting that I let it go and find someone else? Letting go was never one of my strong points. I always want what I can't have. Over 6 billion people of this planet, about a sixth of them are women within my age range (20-26). I don't know why I decided to be fixated on this one woman.

Anyway, she's history. I don't see her anymore at work and I suspect she is already spending time with someone else.

This is a lost cause. I don't see her anymore at work so I can't talk to her. She is a cashier and I think she moved working in a different branch closer to her home or maybe simply quit this job.

I think she is already spending big time with someone else. Maybe that is why she moved working in a different place so that she could be closer to him. That way she doesn't have to drive long and could be with him when she has a break from her job because it's closer now.

Anyway, if she is already with someone else, maybe it's time for me to forget about her and do the same.

Look, I'm Agnostic/recovering Catholic and I'm marrying a Jewish woman tonight. I'm not saying that interracial or interreligious marriages or relationships cannot work.

However facing obstacles from family is never easy. Throw in an area filled with actual violence over it, and you're likely to end up getting yourself killed. Which, is very unfortunate. Jews and Muslims in general need more people like you.

Best of luck to you.

u are soooo infatuated. i dont think u're in love. u dont even know her at all. u just admired her beauty, and the fact that u said u always want what u can't have, that explains things. i dont think u ever told her how u feel, have u? have u even talked to her at all?? seems like u haven't, cos u dont seem to know what's going on with her. u just guess and guess and guess, in ur head. it's not the information that u got from her. i suggest, u go and date the girl, and see if u love her that much then go move out from ur parent's house for God's sake! how old are u? u are a man, are u not? a man should be able to depend on himself. u need to short out ur life, dude