Am I in the wrong?

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16-12-08, 04:37 AM
relationoob

Am I in the wrong?

My gf went into training for her new position, we decided we could eat together on her break. I waited 2 hours b.c she said 12pm but her lunch wasn't until much later. My phone was dieing so I went to Starbucks to charge my phone and get a drink. She calls me and she went to go eat lunch with her coworkers because she didn't know I was there. I'm not angry because I had to wait.

The part the angers me is the fact that she hopped into a car with complete strangers, coworker or not and goes to the mall to eat. She has only known them for 2 hours. Mind you the area shes in is not the safest part of town. Am I in the wrong here for getting angry? Her response is,"I'm sorry you couldn't find any faith in my judgment. Its a big let down for both of us."

I been thinking a lot about it. Did I over-react? Maybe its the traumatic experience I suffered on Friday night when I was robbed at gunpoint.
16-12-08, 05:56 AM
habubbles

gunpoint. damn that must of been fun.. i think that it has to do a little about the gunpoint incident, but not all. yea its scary knowing that your gf is gettin in a car with people she just met, but you have to trust her judgement, have a little faith in her. dont forget that girls can take care of themselves too. you may have over reacted a little. fyi.. i wouldnt of gotten angry soo much bout the car incident. i would of been pissed if my gf didnt show up for our lunch date. you take time out of your day to have lunch with your gf and she blows you off... bullshit!!!!
16-12-08, 06:14 AM
relationoob

Quote:

Originally Posted by habubbles [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

gunpoint. damn that must of been fun.. i think that it has to do a little about the gunpoint incident, but not all. yea its scary knowing that your gf is gettin in a car with people she just met, but you have to trust her judgement, have a little faith in her. dont forget that girls can take care of themselves too. you may have over reacted a little. fyi.. i wouldnt of gotten angry soo much bout the car incident. i would of been pissed if my gf didnt show up for our lunch date. you take time out of your day to have lunch with your gf and she blows you off... bullshit!!!!

I know I should trust her judgment but her "excellent judgment" put her $8k in debt, her ex cheating on her, buying her ex a car, cell phone etc. The list goes on.. I have always tried to help her get her life on track, repair what was destroyed in her previous relationship. I guess I am over reacting and being over protective. I should of just talked to her about it instead of yelling at her, I feel bad now :(
16-12-08, 06:22 AM
IndiReloaded

You yelled at her b/c you were experiencing fears of your own. Get a grip on those. Sorry for what happened to you, btw. It must have been terrifying.

She needs to apologize to you for having missed your lunch. Yes, even if it wasn't technically 'wrong', she should still apologize. Your feelings were hurt. Right & wrong doesn't come into that.

Then you should sit her down & calmly tell her your concerns. Discuss. The incident is over, so there is no %age in getting upset about it.
16-12-08, 10:37 AM
carl1222

Quote:

Originally Posted by relationoob [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I know I should trust her judgment but her "excellent judgment" put her $8k in debt, her ex cheating on her, buying her ex a car, cell phone etc. The list goes on.. I have always tried to help her get her life on track, repair what was destroyed in her previous relationship. I guess I am over reacting and being over protective. I should of just talked to her about it instead of yelling at her, I feel bad now :(

Well, the fact that she's made judgment mistakes in the past doesn't give you the right to second guess her choices. She's your girlfriend, not your daughter.

As for going out to lunch with co-workers ... there are built-in protections surrounding that, even if they were relative strangers. 1) Other co-workers know who all of you are, 2) they also know you went out together, and 3) they would be the prime suspects if anything happened to her. So if she works for a reputable company, and there are others there who didn't join them, then you are probably being overprotective.

I've often asked a new co-worker to join me for lunch ... it's a nice thing to do ... and I don't think anyone thought it raised a safety question even though we were strangers.

I agree though that it was disrespectful of her to change your plans without calling you, and that she caused you to worry unnecessarily. So this is not about standing you up or her going to lunch with co-workers, but more about common courtesy.

Carl.
16-12-08, 11:38 AM
Mish

Quote:

Originally Posted by relationoob [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

The part the angers me is the fact that she hopped into a car with complete strangers, coworker or not and goes to the mall to eat. She has only known them for 2 hours..

I think it's perfectly normal to go out and eat with coworkers even if she's only known them for not long. She should've contacted you to let you know though, that was in bad form. Did you try to call her while you waited?