Feelings for a recently separated friend ...
About ten or so years a go, a female friend and I met and worked together. We worked closely and connected on a very emotional level. At the time she was just getting married and I had been married for some time. We appeared to care quite a bit about each as friends and being in committed relationships anything beyond a friendship wouldn't be in the works. Back in the day, I did start to have feelings for her and felt at the time that the best I could do in the friendship was to simply love and care for her as a friend.
Fast forward, ten years later we met at a company reunion and have traded emails a few times and recently she told me that she had separated. I myself have been separated for five years. I haven't seen her in some five years or so prior to the reunion until I had coffee with her a few months ago. I sense she is having a very tough time with the separation that she had initiated. She was not happy in her marriage and missed the "sparkle". I think she may be unsure about her decision, kids are involved, and it is difficult to give advice as I have not been part of her life for sometime and don't know the circumstances. Like anyone that has gone through marriage failure it can be difficult to open up.
Here is were it gets interesting for me.
I still care about her very much and feel I still do love her as a friend. I hate what she is going through and would very much want to be there as a friend, but I also realize that I still have romantic feelings for her, so I want to be cautious.
I can't quite decide if I want to simply commit to be a loving and close friend that will be there to support her, or take the path to develop a romantic relationship with her. The more I think of her, the more I think I am falling in love with her ... again.
Give that she is only recently separated, I feel I must not interfere with the process she is going through and must put her feelings ahead of any selfish desires I may have. After all she and her husband could reconcile.
I think she suspects how I feel about her, but we have never talked about the subject. I want to be upfront with her about my feelings but don't know how to communicate this and don't want to lose her as a friend either.
What should I do ?
JB