What should I do, How should I feel now.......
Ok so here is what happen. this girl and I started talking about 4 and a half weeks ago. I knew she was currently in a relationship so i kinda just went neutral into getting to know her for the first week.
Second week we kinda flirted and she started getting close, also from the previous week i found out that her current boyfriend was a really bad boyfriend and he just wasn't treating her right, and the way i was treating her was so radical and different and we just had so much in common and really connected like rediculously, it was just amazing.
So by the third week, we expotentially just became closer and closer and just all over each other, even though she had been in a sexually active relationship with this guy for over a year and a half now she said she knew it was going down hill and just didn't feel it for him as she once did, by the end of the third week she broke up with him.
A couple days into the fourth week, he has a class with her and during that time he was crying and she could not, not feel bad for him, so she talked to him, as they talked he explained that he "knew" that he was not treating her right and that he loved her, and would change and finally treat her right and not be an asshole anymore.
So as I should of known better, even a three week amazingly connected relationship could not stem the flow of her feelings for this guy, she has told me that over that year and a half she has been in some really bad drug problems and as a result couldn't even live with her immediate family, this guy even though not a perfect boyfriend still supported her through her ordeal and helped her become sober and active in life again, this is something she loves him for, she told me she just couldn.t do that to him even though she stated for the first time that she loved me, we both knew it was an unusuall love but that it still existed and there must of been a reason for it so, So at the point of her confession and mine like wise, I had hit the point of no return that i had prepared myself to let go of her previous to this point.
So through out the rest of the fourth week and the half of this week, she had been contemplating what she should do, She wanted to be with me so bad she has stated over and over again to me, and just her and I in limbo over this as her "boyfriend" was oblivious to the fact that i existed in this equation..... And yeah we had our rondevous, there was never any sex, just our connection with each other in such a deep level it seemed sureall, but we both said sex was out of the equation untill a solution to this "to her" confusing situation was found. I was fully for a relationship with her. She kept stating to me that she felt her accepting this guys asking her back out again a mistake.
So finally today i got her to make a decision and she thought she knew what she wanted, to be with me, and she was going to tell him. But as her feelings stirred at the moment after she told him she wanted to break up with him, she couldn't bring herself to tell him why, to tell him that she loved someone else..... and i tried to prepare for this possibility, but all attempts have proved futile, I completley understand why everything happened and did not blame her or make her feel bad for anything that happened, so her and I are now friends, even though she against me telling her not to told me that it would be incredibly hard for her to not let her feelings for me interfere, and yeah i was just like i know. And here I am typing to you, just thinking about what I learned from this and seeing how i can get over it. help me........ she also kept saying she never wanted to lose me, just she couldnt let go......
