how can i stay friends with these guys

i have a few friends who had crush on me. we never went out. no, i am not that popular but this happens... my problem is, i don't know how to stay casual friends with them. especially, i am single. now they have GF's.
i am quite horrible with friendship thing and i want to actually learn how to stay friends with guys like that. or is it even possible?
when i send them emails, work related, i feel like using them. but when i try to send friendly email, i feel like i am chasing them.
i am being a bit over thinking but like i said, i am pretty bad at this.
any suggestion?
(oh.. yes, i do get ignored sometimes when i send friendly emails like, "good job with your work! blah" or they would answer in a bit rigid way.)

It does not seem like they want to be friends with you. I wouldn't want to be friends with an old crush. I think you should just let them be.

Also don't feel bad about work related contact. I highly doubt you are using them because they have moved on. They got someone else in their life.

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Originally Posted by mel30 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

is it even possible to stay friends with guys like that?
when i send them emails, work related, i feel like using them. but when i try to send friendly email, i feel like i am chasing them.
i am being a bit over thinking but like i said, i am pretty bad at this.
any suggestion?

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Yeah, I forgot where I read this but it went something like this:

"The problem with men is, they believe women aren't thinking. The problem with women is, they believe men are thinking."

I think the quote is better summarized into:

"The problem with men and women is that they simply can't accept that the opposite gender does not think the same way they do, period."

If you think a guy is reading your e-mail and thinks that you're chasing or using him, you're crazy. Guys just don't think that way. An e-mail about work is just an e-mail about work. This is the very thing that frustrates women around the world and makes men oblivious to hints! If you feel this way, it's only because you believe the guys you're sending it to are thinking like you. They're not, so stop overanalyzing it.

If a guy starts to like you both physically and romantically, the friendship is already dead. You've crosses the point of no return the moment he starts to develop feelings for you. If you try and tell yourself otherwise, you're just lying to yourself. You can both pretend to still be just friends, but for as long as he sees you as something more, the two of you can never really be just friends. There's nothing you can really do to "save the friendship" aside from dressing like a bum or behaving like a crazy psycho bitch.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mel30 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i have a few friends who had crush on me. we never went out. no, i am not that popular but this happens... my problem is, i don't know how to stay casual friends with them. especially, i am single. now they have GF's.
i am quite horrible with friendship thing and i want to actually learn how to stay friends with guys like that. or is it even possible?
when i send them emails, work related, i feel like using them. but when i try to send friendly email, i feel like i am chasing them.
i am being a bit over thinking but like i said, i am pretty bad at this.
any suggestion?
(oh.. yes, i do get ignored sometimes when i send friendly emails like, "good job with your work! blah" or they would answer in a bit rigid way.)

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Unless you have a good understanding of men... I would doubt you could remain friends with guys that never had crushes on you, let alone those that have.

Asparagoose is right... men and women think differently from one another. For one, men tend to think more in the here and now... whereas women try to draw conclusions from the 'here and now' so they can guess at what the future may bring. Both can do this... but women will apply this to just about everything in life... whereas men save this application for very important or serious situations. Also men are usually far more sexual than women... so their thoughts will linger more into fantasies and possible opportunities... whereas women might be oblivious to this or subject to drawing the wrong conclusions from it.

I think the chance of a friendship with these guys is highly unlikely... unless you want to constantly curb their attractions to you... possibly interfering with their relationships with their girlfriends (women won't understand why another woman wants to be friends with their boyfriend)... and risk misreading these guys yourself and ending up in an awkward situation and hurting yourself or them or all.

wow. enlightening. i never expected it to be so black and white. i always felt it so cold to just cut off the connection, so maybe find some easy going attitude. but i guess i have been doing it right, i haven't been talking to these guys lately. decided not to send holiday greetings. but good to know it's alright with work related matters.
thanks!

Friends don't have crushes on each other. Those guys aren't your friends. I'm pretty sure their girlfriends aren't your friends either.