I don't know who I am anymore!

I have always been very, very against cheating because I think about how I'd feel if my boyfriend ever cheated on me. Last night, however, I hooked up with one of my best guy friends because I realized I had romantic feelings for him after he told me he wanted to be more than friends.

The thing is, I only feel terrible about the fact that I don't feel terrible about what I did. I even spent the entire next day with my boyfriend and felt no remorse whatsoever. In other words, I know that what I did was crappy, but I don't actually feel that crappiness. The only thing that happened was I realized I'd much rather be with my boyfriend than my friend because I got the...lust...out of my system.

I don't know what to think about myself. It's like I have no conscience, or I just realized how selfish I am. I'm 18, is this just something I can put behind me as a lesson in life? (Except for the fact that I didn't seem to learn any lesson...)

Assuming you aren't a troll (which I'm not so sure about), I will tell you that what you experienced weren't "feelings" for your friend.. it was simply lust. There's no point in trying to romanticize it. The fact that you feel no shame means you are really crappy girlfriend material, and indicates you are very likely to do it again. Therefore, you should break off with the poor guy who calls himself your boyfriend.

Cool, you got away with it.

Do it again. Why not?

vashti, you are a ****head and you can fill in the blank.

indireloaded, you are kind of funny. but no thank you haha.

however, none of this helps me. i'll go with my original thought that i just need some more self-reflection.

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Originally Posted by xyla [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

...think about how I'd feel if my boyfriend ever cheated on me... I hooked up with one of my best guy friends because I realized I had romantic feelings for him...

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Apparently you weren't thinking about how it would feel if your boyfriend were to cheat on you then. Just because you realize you have romantic feelings for a friend does not mean you have to act on impulse. I'm sure the guy would've waited till another time for you to make up your mind... if he was really interested in you. Rather you should've thought about your boyfriend, your romantic feelings for your friend, and weighed out your feelings for either guy and picked the one you felt the strongest emotions for. If you picked your boyfriend then you would've had to turn down your friend's offer... if you picked your friend then you would've had to break up with your boyfriend. This is the right way to handle a situation like this.

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Originally Posted by xyla [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

... feel terrible about the fact that I don't feel terrible... felt no remorse ... rather be with my boyfriend than my friend ...

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Regardless of whether you want to be with your boyfriend or not... do you think he deserves a woman who feels no remorse for cheating on him? You want the best for him if you love him, right? I sincerely doubt you would wish for him to have an unfaithful girlfriend... Tell him about the infidelity... he has the right to know. It should be his decision to be with you based on ALL the facts.

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Originally Posted by xyla [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I don't know what to think about myself. It's like I have no conscience, or I just realized how selfish I am. I'm 18, is this just something I can put behind me as a lesson in life? (Except for the fact that I didn't seem to learn any lesson...)

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There's your lesson... yes, you are very selfish. You had no regard for your boyfriend's feelings and did what you wanted to do... and now you're doing another selfish thing by lying (or omitting) about the infidelity so you can selfishly have him too... even though you know you don't deserve him. Selfishness is a quality we all have to confront in ourselves... I would suggest confronting this selfishness you have so you may have better relationship experiences down the road --- so you can better yourself and not hurt anyone unnecessarily.

You are old enough to think for yourself about this. What do YOU think? Was it right, or not? You need not get all emotional about it to know this.

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Originally Posted by xyla [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

vashti, you are a ****head and you can fill in the blank.

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Am I? I'm not the one fcuking around on my boyfriend with someone who's supposed to be a friend.

You are just mad because you feel skanky.

vash is not a ****head, just merely telling it like it is. If u cared about your bf at all u will tell him, because it's up to him now whether or not you two should be together. The fact that u don't feel any guilt is a sign that u don't care so much for your bf so u should save him the embarrassment and tell him. You and your friend are perfect for each other, he doesn't respect your relationship obviously and u don't seem to to either. What kind of self-reflection is there to do? You're a cheater, and that's that. And there's nothing to reflect on until u do feel bad about what u did.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Am I? I'm not the one fcuking around on my boyfriend with someone who's supposed to be a friend.

You are just mad because you feel skanky.

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haha vash u tell her.

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Originally Posted by xyla [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I have always been very, very against cheating because I think about how I'd feel if my boyfriend ever cheated on me. Last night, however, I hooked up with one of my best guy friends because I realized I had romantic feelings for him after he told me he wanted to be more than friends.

The thing is, I only feel terrible about the fact that I don't feel terrible about what I did. I even spent the entire next day with my boyfriend and felt no remorse whatsoever. In other words, I know that what I did was crappy, but I don't actually feel that crappiness. The only thing that happened was I realized I'd much rather be with my boyfriend than my friend because I got the...lust...out of my system.

I don't know what to think about myself. It's like I have no conscience, or I just realized how selfish I am. I'm 18, is this just something I can put behind me as a lesson in life? (Except for the fact that I didn't seem to learn any lesson...)

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Wow ... your apparently nice boyfriend was probably sitting at home thinking warm thoughts of you and looking forward to spending the next day with you ... while you were lying naked with your legs in the air and another guy inside you ... and you feel no remorse? Why not? Because you didn't get caught this time so your boyfriend hasn't been hurt (yet)? Because you had an itch in your groin that was more important than your commitment to your relationhip?

If I can't appeal to your conscience (because you apparently don't have one), let me appeal to your own self interest ... and predict your future:

1) You will almost surely continue to cheat with your "friend" or series of "friends" until you eventually get caught and blow your relationship with your bf, causing him great pain.

2) You'll get another bf, do the same to him, get caught again, ad infinitum until you find that you can't get lasting relationships, only f**k buddies ...

3) Then you become easy prey for every despicable player who turns you on with a cute ass and a slick line who will think of you as nothing more than a life support system for a vagina.

Probably the kind of life you deserve, but not the life you want I hope.

Carl.

Don't ponder about it. You're just on the road to sluttiness. There's a plenty of women with that status so I think you will find who are are when you hang out with them.

She's gone. Vash called Troll, I think she's right.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Am I? I'm not the one fcuking around on my boyfriend with someone who's supposed to be a friend.

You are just mad because you feel skanky.

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Hell, I feel skanky just reading it, vashti!

Everyone here is right... and though Vashti and Carl (surprisingly enough) may appear brutal... it's only because they really feel for your boyfriend and may have been cheated on in the past...

I have been cheated on as well, and it's a horrible feeling. The first thought that comes to mind (after all the bad feelings) is:

Why didn't they just leave if they didn't want me?

Please try to be more considerate of others... than just your own desires. Realize that you are more than a slave to your impulses.

Prove the world wrong... be the better person... don't go down this path... You will NEVER find happiness if you continue to cheat.

Rotfl...am I the only one who thinks this chick is hilarious?