The "friend" word...

Hello,

I am new here and hope everyone had a great holiday.

Anyways, here is a brief about my situation. I really like this girl, known her for about a yr and a half, but it was only recently that I really started to fall for her. We flirt around, text, im, hangout (group of friends), etc, but haven't dated. However, during one night while we were flirting, I accidently said to her, "...that's what friends are for..." And ever since that night, she has really been quiet in not returning my text, not going on IM, etc. She did said that she is having her cousin over for about a week or so from out of town. Do you guys think that I really messed up? And if so, what would be the best fix? Or am I just really over looking this?

Thanks in advance,

Rather than beat around the bush, ask her on a date! If you don't take any initiative then all shes getting is mixed messages. I don't think you "really messed things up", but let her know of your intentions before its too late!

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Originally Posted by TheTooya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Rather than beat around the bush, ask her on a date! If you don't take any initiative then all shes getting is mixed messages. I don't think you "really messed things up", but let her know of your intentions before its too late!

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I have tried four times within the past four weeks and they all got turned down. I am not sure if it was bad timing or if she is not interested, but they all seemed like it had valid excuses (to me at least). An example would be when I tried asking her to go out at night to grab a bite, she said she was doing Christmas shopping with her family. Another time was early afternoon to see if she wanted to grab some coffee, but she said she had to wake up super that morning to do some errands, so she was really tire. She however has invited me numerious times to go out, but more of a group base. Should I keep trying or just call it?

She is a really cool person to keep as a friend if things doesn't work out, so maybe she is thinking the same thing? I want to tell her how I feel, but I think that is like going all in as in winning her or losing it all.

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Originally Posted by geico101 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hello,

I am new here and hope everyone had a great holiday.

Anyways, here is a brief about my situation. I really like this girl, known her for about a yr and a half, but it was only recently that I really started to fall for her. We flirt around, text, im, hangout (group of friends), etc, but haven't dated. However, during one night while we were flirting, I accidently said to her, "...that's what friends are for..." And ever since that night, she has really been quiet in not returning my text, not going on IM, etc. She did said that she is having her cousin over for about a week or so from out of town. Do you guys think that I really messed up? And if so, what would be the best fix? Or am I just really over looking this?

Thanks in advance,

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Thanks, Happy New Year to you too.

She has an out of town cousin over for a week, so chances are that's why she isn't available right now.

I read your post, and I see absolutely nothing that you did or said wrong or anything that needs to be fixed. Note the word "friend" in the word "girlfriend."

Anyone who would take your quite innocent comment "that's what friends are for" as meaning that you have "friend-zoned" her and she needs to appear distant to pique your interest or as a protective/control matter is either a flake, a game player, or someone who wasted $20 on a useless "how to take control of your relationship" book.

If you have to parse your words that closely, she's not the girl for you (or anyone).

Having said that ... it's probably her cousin being there ... chill.

Carl.

EDIT: I post slow :D Forget everything I said.
4 weeks of trying and she isn't available? Forget her, she's not all that into you.

hehe, thanks for the feedback Carl. Guess I'll just keep things as they currently are and just get over her.

EDIT: Can telling her really jeapodize everything? I talked to a few of my girl friends and they all said I should just tell her, and if she can't be friends after knowing, then she isn't worth being friends with. Sounds a little harsh. =/

Geico, if she's being non-responsive then it is a sort of gauge of her feelings for you, which seem to be lukewarm at the moment. But I highly doubt it's what you said...it might just seem that way because of the timing of it. She might be just busy, but when someone does this to me, I usually consider it a "brush-off" and move on. People that are inconsistent about keeping in touch with me get a red flag.

The only way to really know is to ask her if she sees you as more than a friend. I would put the ball in her court, and let her contact you a bit first. If she really is interested, chances are, you'll hear from her.

Four times in a month. She's not into you, sorry. Don't spill your guts, it will only embarrass both of you.

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Four times in a month. She's not into you, sorry. Don't spill your guts, it will only embarrass both of you.

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Oh, I must have missed that. Yah, that seems like a brush-off, big time.

If she does start contacting you again, then maybe you guys have a shot. But I'd worry about that level of non-responsiveness with her.

Sorry, Geico.

Thanks people for informative feedbacks.

Edit: I guess what is still confusing the heck out of me was the last time that she contacted me. We went out as a group that night for karaoke, but her friends ended up hogging the mic. And at the end of that night when we got home, she texted me saying she was sorry about the night. An hour later about 5am (event ended at around 3:30am), she texted me again saying how bad she felt. I told her not to worry about it and this was the last time that I heard from her (about a week). I'm having a hunch that she cares about me, but maybe in a different way.

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Originally Posted by geico101 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Thanks people for informative feedbacks.

Edit: I guess what is still confusing the heck out of me was the last time that she contacted me. We went out as a group that night for karaoke, but her friends ended up hogging the mic. And at the end of that night when we got home, she texted me saying she was sorry about the night. An hour later about 5am (event ended at around 3:30am), she texted me again saying how bad she felt. I told her not to worry about it and this was the last time that I heard from her (about a week). I'm having a hunch that she cares about me, but maybe in a different way.

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what was she sorry for? what went wrong that night?

lol. You dig up the post.

Well, she never really elaborated or talked about it, so I have no idea. The whole night as I perceived it, was fine. The last time we talked, was a few days ago with texting at night. We somehow ended up talking about personal things such as our virginity. But when I asked why she hasnt gotten into a relationship ever since she broke up (about 2-3 years ago), she just totally ignored me. I waited for about 30 mins or so, and she still hasn't text me back yet, so I thought she was mad or somehow felt uncomfortable with the question. So I just called it a night saying she probably fell asleep and apologize for my question. For the next few days, I never received any text from her. And when I see her online, she doesn't message me. I am just confuse as hell. I don't know what mess I got myself in to, but I just needed a place to vent. I think I am just in the stage of denial that she doesn't like me.

you probably are right about her not liking you as much. when women are in like or in love, we try to use every free moment of our life to reach out to that person. not worth the headache.

you sound like a very bright person. think logically about the whole situation, forget the past and live in the present.

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Originally Posted by Indignant [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

you sound like a very bright person. think logically about the whole situation, forget the past and live in the present.

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It has been awhile since I liked a person, and I really enjoy that feeling, but at the same time, I am just so afraid of losing it. With my CPA exams coming up, I am just so off-sync with this whole mess. I just really want to clear my mind. But your right, I will forget the past and move on.

Kung Fu panda, "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift, and that is why it's called the present."

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Originally Posted by geico101 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Kung Fu panda, "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift, and that is why it's called the present."

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That is not an original quote by that movie.

Just sayin'.