Broken up after 6 months but there's still something there
Hey, I'm having some trouble at the moment figuring out what the right thing to do is. I don't know what I want but I figured if I explained my story here somebody with experience in this area could give me some advice? :)
So to cut a long story short, I am 18 years old and she is 19. We got together at the end of March 2008. We fell in love and got along like best friends, she got along with my friends and I got along with her's, it was perfect!
It went on all through summer and I was having the time of my life with her. We had our fair share of arguements as we all do but nothing ever effected us to the point of break up.
Then in September, right before I began school again, I felt a change. What was there, that flame or spark, whatever you want to call it, had gone. I'm wasn't planning on pretending this wasn't the case so I did what I believed was the right thing and broke up with her.
Between then and now I have been single, with no sexual partners. I have spent all my time with my friends, instead of her and I've been enjoying the single life, not being tied down and not having that commitment made me feel free, which is what I wanted. I have still been talking to 'A' (my ex) in this time because I honestly can't imagine not speaking with her or seeing her. She has been finding it hard and I have respected that and not pressured her to keep communication going with me. I don't know if this is unfair of me. Should I just let her go so she isn't being reminded of how we used to be etc?
A couple of months ago my relationship with my friends has began to break down slightly. I don't see them as much as I was, and I have since began to feel lonely. I spend more time at home, which I'm fine with as I enjoy being with my family, but I feel as though I'm losing everyone I once had in my life. This idea scares me.
Now, I am still talking with 'A' and we meet up sometimes to go shopping or get coffee and chat. It's really nice as I love spending time with her more than anyone. She also enjoys the time we spend together though of course she finds it slightly more difficult as she preferably would like to be in a relationship with me.
I have noticed that when I am with her, I love it, I love being with her. To the point where I can imagine being in a relationship with her. I am physically attracted to her as well. She is beautiful. So I have found myself asking the question, could I get back with her? Part of me thinks I could, though I feel like I'm a bit scared of commitment with anyone now. But there is something holding me back. I feel as though if I was really up for getting back together with her I would know straight away? Though I don't believe it is always that simple.
My situation is complicated but it's beginning to really give me a hard time :-(
I love her to pieces but am I only thinking this because I'm lonely?
Help???
Thank you, James.
